You've heard this before.

There's this guy, you see. His house is in the middle of this valley and one day it starts to rain and the river starts to flood. This guy's neighbor comes by in a truck and offers to drive the guy out of the valley before the flooding gets too bad but the guy says no thanks, if things get bad, I'm sure God will save me.

The waters keep rising and soon the guy's first floor is underwater and a boat comes by. The folks on the boat call to the guy to come out to the boat which will take him to safety, but guy replies no thanks, I'm sure God will save me.

Later, the guy's on his roof, the only part of his house that's above water when this helicopter comes by. They lower a ladder and tell the guy to jump on but still, the guy says no thanks, I'm sure God will save me.

The waters rise and the guy drowns.

He's up in heaven asking God why, why didn't you save me? God's answer?

"I sent you a truck, a boat, and a helicopter. What more do you want?"

-Faux "Guess which character you are." Pas