> But I feel awful because I feel as though I am, in some way, abusing the opportunity I was given. I mean, who serves as a caregiver at a church to pick people up?
>
> Aaaaargh! [beats Monkeyman's head in with a hardcover self-help book]
>
> I'm sorry, Monkeyman, you are absolutely right. You ought to only consider going out with a girl you have never seen, never heard about, never spoken to, and never in fact had any contact with in any way whatsoever. The only way you will find true love is by picking a surname at random from the phone book, calling them up, and proposing then and there.
>
> I really don't recommend crazy alternatives such as meeting a girl in a friendly social situation, such as at church, and gradually getting to know her. However, if you want to abuse the socialising opportunities God has given you by actually going out there and socialising, none of us can answer for the consequences.

Ahem. On the off-chance that you wanted advice instead of vulgar personal abuse, here is some. I started writing this out earlier and decided I couldn't get it into a postable form, but since Sam just said the same thing much better, I may as well add something to that.

You talk of abusing the "opportunity" you were given. The opportunity to do what? Fill the role of caregiver in your church. Now, how are you abusing that by becoming friendly with someone you met through the role? It's a completely separate issue.

I want you to consider it without the romantic angle. Let's say you're a caregiver, and in the process you meet some *guy* who's new at your church. He turns out to have common interests with you and he becomes a good friend outside of church events. Would you, even for ONE SECOND, think "Oh no, this is going way beyond what God meant me to do!" and break off the friendship? I bet you wouldn't. OK, maybe it's different with this girl, because there's the element of possible future romance. But look at what you're asking of God here. You're saying you'll do what you're supposed to do, but if it leads to any personal benefits you'll turn them down. You're reducing religious faith and the infinite possibilities of life to becoming God's little robot. Hand out your cards and then go home and die, because that was your SOLE PURPOSE there. Does that sound silly to you? I really hope so.

Your "guilt" also seems to assume that making friends with a girl is some awful thing which benefits only you, and infringes on every basic human right she has. But friendship adds just as much to one person as to the other. You are not inflicting some kind of punishment on her by becoming her friend. Friends are a reward. *Good* friends are a foretaste of heaven. There are people in the world who think of YOU that way, and there will be more, but you have to LET them.

Brunnen-"solid religious advice from a sarcastic unbeliever"G