> Some of the previous posts showed a rather cavalier attitude toward adoption, and it makes me so angry to think that people view giving a baby away as an easy task and one that is the best way out.
>
> Kel"that's my rant for the evening"ly

Au Contrair! I think putting a child up for adoption is one of the hardest, most painful things anyone would ever have to do. I can't imagine the heartache it would cause. And I certainly don't think that a two parent home should seriously think about putting a child up for adoption unless they are so extremely poor that the child would starve to death or something from staying with the family. No, I believe that a child deserves his or her *own* two parent family. A mother and a father. But if that's not possible, a stable, two parent family is desirable.

There are several senarios here:

1-Let's say that young 16 year old "Jill" gets pregnant. Her boyfriend won't marry her, her parents won't support her. Should she keep her child? I don't think so. Will it be the hardest thing she'll ever do in her life to give her baby up to strangers, trusting an adoption agency to put her child in a loving home? Yes, of course. But it's still the right thing to do.

2-Ok, how about if Jill is older, say 23. She's married and has a child. She has no other family. Her husband dies. This senario is totally different than if she were divorced, by the way. At least then she'd be getting child support. Should she give her child up? I can't say. I don't think so, but others would. The reason I say that she shouldn't? At least she can tell her child that his/her father loved them and *wanted* to be there...but can't. Much better, IMNTBHO, than having to tell a kid that their father just doesn't want to see them, wether through divorce, never being married, etc. Does that make sense?


Let me tell you a story. I have a friend who was adopted. She knew very little about her birth parents, but her real parents (The ones who had raised her) had always been very open and honest about the situation. I asked her once if she wanted to find her birth parents. Her answer is the best one I've ever heard. She said "I figure that I ended up in the family God wanted me to be in. It doesn't matter that I wasn't born to my parents, just that I got to them." I love that answer.

There's also a very good song written by Michael Mclean about adoption. It's called "From God's arms, to my arms, to yours." And I'd love to share the lyrics with you, but my mind is a blank at the moment. I'll put down the chorus, however, and if Mia or Sarya could help me out, I'd apprectiate it. Or if anyone else recognizes it. Marie Osmond sang this song on the Donny and Marie show.

Chorus-
And maybe, you can tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he's been loved before.
By someone who delivered your son,
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.

Ti'can't believe I can't remember how that song starts'cia