...That is, years and eons ago. Here, for the first time, is the timeless true tale of how Sam and I first met. I have writ these words as a combined response to: (1) a related challenge from Darien to "make it sound all biblical"; and (2) as a counter to Stephen's 'claim' of seniority in previously knowing Sam.

Incidentally, yes, I am aware of the first three Commandments -- and it would pain me to transgress them. Also, anyone wanting to correct grammatical errors in Elizabethan English, be my guest. :-)

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The Witness of Wolf; or, There and Back to Sam.

¹ In the Beginning there wast the Word, and the Word wast SAM; and the Word wast in him. ² Before him wast the RinkVoid, dark and deepy. ³ But SAM is the Creator: from him, the Glory of All Things past and future RINK wert made.

4· I, Wolf, didst know him in Days of Yore; in the Days of Shadow, before there wast RINK. 5· For GOD didst Guide him gentle unto us, that we may know him from Ages past. 6· Know then the Truth, that long ago SAM once attendeth a newsgroup hierarchy, comp.sys.ibm.pc.games.adventure; wherein, indeed, I didst first Behold him. He didst Post much in his Season. Indeed, as I lurk'd soft in that Forum, 7· I wast much Overcome by his Ingenuity and Grace.

8· Lo, enthrall'd wast I! Een then; methinks een unto this Day. 9· I didst set forth mine e-Quill to e-Parchment, and I writ then the first of our Correspondence betwixt us. 10· Verily didst I taste oft his Wisdom; and saw that the SAM wast Good.

11· And it came to pass that we Spake of Many Things in our Letters, as oft Computer Games and THE LORD and Love of Writing. 12· Indeed, Many Other e-Missives wert swapp'd atween SAM and Wolf, whereof much hath since been Lost, een flung cruelly Away unto the Mists of Time; 13· (This Being the Age subsequent therefrom the 'Great HardDrive Formatting Accident' of the Early 1990s).

14· Behold, five Years of plenteousness flew by and by; that we couldst partake of the fruition of Consonance, sharing like Mind.

15· Thereupon in the Fullness of Time it came to pass, that SAM didst lay the Foundation of RINK at UNH: behold, 'At-a-Glance Film Reviews', it being the First of miracles of SAM. 16· I bare Witness to these things, the Beginning of his greatest Work; for verily I wast There. And we gather'd together, and saw that it wast Very Good.

17· Afterwhile wast there much Rejoicing in heaven, for every new RINK Feature that SAM brought forth by Mighty Hand and outstretched Arm.

18· Save one Fateful Day, that SAM didst proudfully shew me forth a hyperLink: it being unto his thence-newest Creation, 'SlapDash City.' 19· And I wast most astonish'd, for unto it I said little; most Noncommit'dly unto SAM didst I reply, 'Um'.

20· Woe is me, forasuch mine foul repartee wast mortal! Thereupon inasmuch, it came to pass: that mine attention waver'd, and I couldst not fain speak to SAM. 21· In Shame the very Cyber-Ether cede'd in stillness betwixt us. 22· And therewith came a Time of dearth, for well-nigh TWO WHOLE YEARS.

23· These wert mine Years of Forfeit; howbeit being the span wherein SAM didst wed the Angel, LEEN. And again, they being of one accord, it befit a greater Age for them. 24· Indeed SAM thenceforth didst shew his fullest Glory: he bringing out Many more good RINK Features thereby.

25· Erstwhile I wast Lost, albeit thence I wast Found. 26· Lo, in the Midst of mine feeble wanderings, at length didst I dimly recall RINK. Unbeknowst to me, mine Heart didst yearn most Secret for its Wonders upon Wonders. 27· Forthwith I returneth back to SAM, moreasnot akin to the Prodigal Son. 28· Nay, it wert not for mere feast-make o'er the Fatted Calf, as a Wolf doth wont. 29· Yea, hitherto the Grace of the Most High SAM and LEEN wert upon us, 30· We Who thirst deep for the Greetings and Goodwill of ALL FRIENDS that see RINK withal. And unto us this Joy is given, that Mercy be with us all.

31· This is the Epistle of the disciple Wolfspirit, Thirdmost amongst the Elect Whom SAM hath known. 32· To the Only wise GOD be glory forever, who shall gift Thine sight against Idolatry of men. Bless'd be ye. Amen.


Wolf "Reader's Digest version might be 1 WOLF 1:10... Murf!" spirit