> > World War II, for example, was started off because Hitler (if you don't know who he is you must have really flunked History at school) wanted to kill all the Jews. The only way that could happen was if he became the premier of Germany, and Hey Presto, look what he did.
>
> Wow, awesome analysis. To further help the cause, I present An American's guide to Major Wars:
>
> Revolutionary War: Caused by the Brittish taxing us.
>
> French Revolution: Caused by the Frogs copying us.
>
> War of 1812: Caused by the Brittish stealing our men and making them fight in their damn limey army.
>
> Spanish-American War: Who knows? Probably because Mexico attacked us.

Actually, it was the Pulitzer and the other News Paper Magnates creating senstional and fictional headlines. They decided a war was good for Circulation.



> Civil War: Slavery.
>
> World War I: Germans.
>
> World War II: Like World War I, only this time it's personal.

I'd actually call this one Nazis instead of Germans, after all, Hitler was Austrian


> Korea: The Commies invaded Korea or something.
>
> Vietnam: The Commies invaded Vietnam or something. Charlie Sheen had to kick Marlon Brando's ass in this one.

Just chalk this both up to Cold War skirmishis


> Desert Storm: The Camel Jockies tried to steal our oil. Was good on CNN.

Bingo, the Prime Time War. Joseph Pulitzer would be proud.

Speed'War,whatisitgoodfor?RATEINGS!!!!'ball