This little (yeah right) joke is designed to really irritate the reader, as they think that there is going to be a good punchline but there isn't one. I have two more where this came from, but they are soooo long that I daren't put them up. Here goes...

There were 1000 monks wandering around in the middle of a desert, all saying "What shall
we do, what shall we do, oh dear, what shall we do?" Then, out of the blue, the brainiest
monk, Brother Albert, said "I know! Let's build a monastery!" So they did.

It was the most lavish monastery ever built. It was ten floors tall, with stained glass windows,
a fountain, a large brass coated door, 1000 separate bedrooms, 2000 bathrooms (you can
never be too sure), a massive kitchen and a top-of-the-range stable complex. They went to
bed satisfied.

Then, in the middle of the night, there was a knock at the door. It wasn't very loud, but it was enough to wake every single monk in the monastery up. Brother Brenda, the Mother
Superior (he was a bit confused), went to answer the door.

When he opened the door, he saw a four foot tall, green and yellow spotted man wearing a
"Where were you when they shot JFK" t-shirt.

"Excuse me", said the man in a very well spoken English accent, "I don't suppose that I
could borrow a room for the night?"

"No, not on your life!" exclaimed Brother Brenda. He then slammed the door really hard. So
hard, in fact, that the monastery collapsed, killing 250 of the monks inside and TOTALLY
ruining the wood venir.

There were 750 monks wandering around in the middle of the desert, all saying "What shall
we do, what shall we do, oh dear, what shall we do?" Then, out of the blue, Brother Albert
said "I know, lets build another monastery!" So they did.

This one was bigger and better than before. It was over twenty stories tall, with marble and
granite finishing (don't ask me where they got them from), ten large fountains, a swimming
pool, an amusement arcade, a tennis court, 750 bedrooms, one bathroom (a major bit of
miscalculation on somebody's part there) and a stable for 100 horses. They went to bed
satisfied.

Then, in the middle of the night, there was a knock at the door. It wasn't very loud, but it was enough to wake every single monk in the monastery up. Brother Brenda went to answer the
door.

Standing in the doorway was the same four foot tall, green and yellow spotted man wearing
a "Where were you when they shot JFK?" t-shirt.

"I'm frightfully sorry," the man said "but can I have a room for the night? It's dreadfully cold out here"

"Not a chance" said Brother Brenda. He then slammed the door in the man's face. This
caused the monastery to fall down, killing 250 monks.

There were 500 monks wandering around in the middle of the desert, all saying "What shall
we do, what shall we do, oh dear, what shall we do?" Then, out of the blue, Brother Albert
said "I know, lets build yet another monastery!" So they did.

This one was way better than the last one. It was fifty stories tall, with glod and silver finishes, a large amusement arcade, a rollercoaster for the more intrepid monks, a fishing pond, a sauna (although, as it is in the middle of the desert they had no use for it other than cooking fish), 100 large fountains all over 100ft high, a bowls court, a bowling alley, an olympic stadium, 500 bedrooms, 500 bathrooms (the person who did the calculations previously got
flattened the last time around) and a stable for 500 horses, with a unique pay and display
system. They went to bed satisfied.

Then, in the middle of the night, there was a knock at the door. It wasn't very loud, but it was enough to wake every single monk in the monastery up. Brother Brenda went to answer the
door.

Imagine his surprise (or lack of it) when he saw that it was the four foot tall, green and yellow
spotted man wearing a "Where were you when they shot JFK?" t-shirt.

"I'm really sorry to wake you up," said the man, "but I really need to have a room. I haven't
eaten in twenty days and I desperately need some grub"

"We're full" said Brother Brenda. He then slammed the door shut so hard in his face that the
monastery fell down, squashing 250 unfortunate monks.

There were 250 monks wandering around in the middle of the desert, all saying "What shall
we do, what shall we do, oh dear, what shall we do?" Then, out of the blue, Brother Albert
said "I know, lets build another monastery!" So they did.

This one was bigger and better than the last. It was as tall as the Emnpire State Building,
with platinum finishing, interior design by Laurence Llewllyn-Bowen, 1000 fountains
overflowing with Champagne, 2500 bedrooms (you can never have enough), underground
parking for their new Ferraris and Lambourginis, an exact replica of Alton Towers, an indoor
cricket ground (with automatic opening roof) and Digital Satelite TV. They went to bed
satisfied.

Then, in the middle of the night, there was the faintest of faint knocks. It immediately woke
up Brother Brenda, who had perfect hearing. He went and opened the door.

At the door was a four foot tall, green and yellow spotted woman, wearing a t-shirt which had
inscribed on it in biro "I'm covering for my brother."

"Excuse me, kind sir," said the woman in exactly the same voice as the man, "but can you please spare us a bed for the night? We are close to starvation and need shelter."

"For goodness sake, NO!" Brother Brenda slammed the door really hard, causing the monastery to fall down, killing all of the monks except for Brother Albert.

There was one monk wandering around in the middle of the desert, saying "What shall I do, what shall I do, oh dear, what shall I do?" He then thought to himself "I know - I'll build a
monastery!"

Brother Albert was not as greedy as the other monks, so all he built was a little shack with a
bed, a toilet, a fridge he salvaged from the wreckage of one of the monasterys and a little
shrine to Jesus. He went to bed satisfied.

Then, in the middle of the night, there was a knock at the door. It wasn't very loud, but it was still enough to wake up Brother Albert. He answered the door.

You guessed it, it was the foor foot tall, green and yellow spotted man, with his sister. They
were both wearing t-shirts with "I'm with stupid" and then an arrow pointing to the other one
inscribed on them.

"Can we have a bed for the night?" asked the man and woman simultaneously.

"Normally I wold let you have a room," said Brother Albert, "but as you can see I haven't got
enough room. I'd go and find somewhere else."

He almost slammed the door, but thought better of it. He thought for a moment, and then rushed out of the door as fast as he could possibly go and chased after the green and yellow spotted man.

He cought up with him, and asked, out of breath, "Is it you who has been causing all of our monasterys to fall down?"

"No" said the man.


Chr"how terrible can they get?"ico