Hey everyone!

I wanted to let you all know about this TV show I watched last night in case you missed it. I was flipping through the dial like I do every night, searching for something I could watch that was real and invigorating and I came upon this show called, "Survival" or something like that. Now bear with me and I'll explain it because it is kind of weird.

It seems that a bunch of people are taken from the street (kidnapped is my guess because nobody would ever volunteer for something like this) and put on an island. CBS is airing this show so they made sure to take some old people (they are also slower and easier to catch, probably). These people are herded onto a boat and forced to jump overboard with a bunch of refuse, just like in Titanic. After the pirate boat leaves, the people swim to the island, which is called Padme Taggert or something like that. It looks like it is somewhere near Louisiana or Oregon because of all the sand. While swimming there, the group must get into a fight or something because they decide to split into two teams instead of staying together to fight off any natives or evil spirits that inhabit the island.

Luckily, a video camera is also there with a large supply of batteries so the castaways can film eachother, probably so they can watch themselves and learn from eachother. There's also this magical "Post Office" that the spirits deliver messages to, leading our tribes to mysteriously erected altars and such. Here, the two teams fight every few days over who controls the conch and soon people start to disappear. Methinks that the monster on the mountain is causing the hijinks. The disappearances happen whenever they go to the Adventurland room at Disneyworld, which makes me think the island is actually in Florida (they can't fool me). A strange phantasm named Jif Prose also appears from time to time and he seems to be working for the monster although the others don't know this or they would fear him and his Rock n Roll Trivia. They can also consult the talking pigs head on a pike for help in matters of survival.

Now the one known as Rish is the king and can procreate with all the women to repopulate this desolate wasteland. I have no doubts that this show will be a hit and that the new civilization on Padme Taggert will flourish with the abundance of fish, rice, rodents, and redneck truckers. If I were you, I would tune in and learn something about how life really is and how we can become rich through tapioca.

Fer"running around naked with a spear in my hand"rick