> > Fencing?? Come on people, everyone knows Team Handball is way better than Fencing. Sheesh. I mean, they don't even use realy SWORDS, for crying out loud.
> >
> > -- Dave
>
> Oh, c'mon, Dave. Whacking at people with pieces of metal (be they real swords or not) is much more fun than handball. It's also great stress relief-if people fenced instead of drinking, smoking, or shooting up with drugs, the world would be a better place-in fact, that's what should happen! People worldwide should have at it with fake swords instead of more dangerous methods of making life bearable!
>
> Of course, handball-playing deviants would be rounded up and sent to special colonies where they can live their lives according to their quaint ways. However, tourists from the affluent surrounding fencing country would inevitably come to gawk and trade remarks about the handballers. It would give the Amish a break, though, so I guess it would be an even trade.
>
> With this cheap method of recreation, people the world over would no longer be afflicted with terribly expensive needs for any other kind of sport. Football jocks would no longer be the center of the universe! Failure to fence, and only to fence, would of course result in arrest and deportation to the handball colonies.
>
> Children would be conditioned from birth to love fencing. No more toys, pets, or vacations-just fencing, fencing, and more fencing! Any child who expressed displeasure with fencing would be...persuaded of its benefits. Fencing would be taught in schools, and played in Physical Education classes everywhere.
>
> Any subversives who endorse other sports would be taken in by the state, tortured, and publicly executed. This would insure harmony and eliminate conflicts of interest between everyone! In fact, the penalty for playing another sport would be...um...maybe...Oh yeah! To be forced to play that sport until death from exhaustion (or exposure-whichever comes first).
>
> Yes, I think fencing would certainly make for a better world. No problems, no arguments, just all of mankind living in peace and harmony. If only all of you could support me, then this dream of World Fencing Socialistic Tyrannical Future Society could become reality!
>
> Cor"it was late and I was bored"rino

Ridiculous. Croquet is best for releasing aggression. Got laid off? Take it out with a violent swing at the ball. It's great. You take a big blunt object, swing at another dense object, and try to make it smash a big stick in the ground. Croquet RULES.

-eric "GRRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" sleator
Thu 10 Aug A.D. 2000