I mentioned on Rinkchat this morning that I would be going to California this summer on Vacation, and Ellmyruh suggested that I visit her. When I mentioned this to my parents, they went crazy.

My parents came up with multiple reasons I can't visit anyone on Rinkworks. This is a humorous section that I transcribed from the middle; sometimes it's more serious/angry; sometimes it's even a little sillier than this, but I didn't get the idea of turning on my microphone for a while, and my computer can only hold so much .WAV information, so this is as much as I got (besides, we carried the conversation into other parts of the house where my mic couldn't pick it up).

I made it more readable than the Vicki thing, but our family doesn't use "um"'s as much to begin with. However, I did skip over boring parts (where we were talking about our vacation rather than Internet security, for example).

Well, happy reading, again! (Once again, please remove the origional if you reply.)

___________________________________________________________________________

(jumping into the middle)

ME: Yeah, but what's the chances that this person is going to kill me?

MOM: OHHH, Well, it could be one in....several thousand, but that one could be the one that you're befriending. Because it's just like saying "Gotta be careful about strangers or...or...letting people in, but if you let people in, how are the chances that you're, that you're getting killed, but you have to gaurd yourself against it, because if that is that one..."

ME: Fine, I'll get myself a....knife or something in case they happen to be an axe murderer.

DAD: Yeah, but what if it's a serial machine gun murderer?

MOM: No, you never know!

DAD: They have those big bazooka guns. They have guns in the states you know.

MOM: Because, because, what if they -- because, that's the thing! You have to -- you always have to, when you're in the...

DAD: And, they probably didn't like what you said on the Internet, and [they] said, "One of these days, I'm coming, I'll pretend I'm nice, and as soon as I see him, pow!"

MOM: I mean, you're doing, you're talking to them...You know, you're talking to them, that's fine, and you're talking about topics and you're talking about things, that's fine, but I, I would always be leery, always keep a, like a, a second side to say well, that person may not be real.

ME: Yes, I'll stay a bit leery. So, like, I'll have a, I don't know...knife. Yeah. Happy?

DAD: Yeah, well that isn't going to do you much against their bazooka.

MOM: Unless...unless I guess he could test them first then if he ever meets them, if we all meet him, if there are any secrets, I wonder if we could --

DAD: And which person's this? Show me their picture. Is that one --

MOM: Like, you talk to them, and maybe there's one little thing that you find about them...I'm just saying, if you ever give some sort of secrets thats between you and, uh, so-and-so, or some few, that you might just come up with some conversation, and then you would say, that guy, if you ever quizzed them, should know everything that I wrote, because on the chat line; whereas the other person might squirm and might miss some ideas, might miss some things...

[At this point, I opened the Rinkworks/photo page]

ME: This person.

MOM [who wasn't looking at the computer]: Is he old or young?

DAD [who was]: Very older.

MOM: Oh, my goodness...

DAD: Older than me!

ME: No, this one! Not the one beside her.

DAD: Oh, the girl.

ME: Yes.

MOM: His wife? Oh, that's not a good idea to meet her, then. You're going to have a guy -- you're going to meet this thing, the guys think that you're um, you're a, you're a, you know --

[I burst out laughing at this point...sorry...]

MOM: It doesn't matter...

DAD: Those two people you're going to go see? Looks like [my (tubby) uncle]!

MOM: He's going to think that you're going to chat around there and they're going to go beat you up, say, "What are you doing, going with my girlfriend." Then, then you're going to have this guy on your back, all the time. He's gonna; he's gonna stalk you down!

ME: Um, aren't you being a bit paranoid?

DAD: She looks like she's definately in her thirties. Maybe even older. Looks like [my] Mom. [I guess digital photography doesn't do much for the figure.]

MOM: You're gonna be in trouble, here!

ME: No, I'm not!

MOM: Yeah!

DAD: What'd she say, next time you're down in Sacramento, come and visit me or something?

ME: No, I --

DAD: And I'll have some special cookie just for you? Full of a little arsenic and, uh, a little rat poisoning just for taste?

ME: No, I said on vacation, I was going to California, and [this part is boring so I'll skip ahead a bit].


DAD: ...And [she said] you should pop in and say hello?

ME: Yes.

MOM: Oh, my goodness!

ME: What?

MOM: Then you say my whole -- then if you take the whole family, what if they come tie us all up there, you know, you just, these people, they might tie the parents up, too.

MY BROTHER: [Kaz] is not easy to tie up.

MOM: Then they just shoot everybody!

ME: Look, I think that me and [my brother] together are going to be very hard to tie up.

MOM: Oh, I don't know.

ME: They might be able to get Mom, maybe, but that's okay. [:·Þ]

MOM: Are they married, those two?

ME: They're engaged.

MOM: And she -- naw, I don't know.

DAD: They have kids?

ME: I don't think so.

DAD: You know, that Mocha [Sp?], you know, those two guys were married, and they looked very nice. You know, the that...

MOM: Oh, yeah!

DAD: And they turned into big mass murderers! There could, there could be a whole lot of people who came to them on the internet, buried in their backyard!

MOM: Yeah!

DAD: And they, and they go, oh! Another one! Bink! And put it on their wall.

MOM: Yeah!

DAD: Another internet person!

MOM: Yeah, they go, "Yeah! Come visit me! Yes! Come into my house!" And once you're in the house...gyomp! "I got you now!"

DAD: "Oh, what a tasty morsel! I'm going to put you in my oven!" [My Dad doesn't take all this quite as seriously as my mom does.]

MOM: I dunno...Nah. Internet, to me, is Internet. I would not go with people on the Internet.

DAD: Besides, if you go see them, you know what that means? They'll love next time they're in Edmonton. Because they can come see us!

MOM: That's right.

DAD: And while we might stay for a, a, a, two hours, they might come and say, "Oh, here I am, for a week now! I'm on my holiday, and I, you know, we don't want to do hotels, and you came to my place, so I'll come to your place! I'm only going to be about a week, maybe two."

ME: No, I wasn't planning to go to her house. [Then a boring part that has nothing to do with this conversation.]

MOM: Oh, but that's how they do it!

DAD: A great place for shooting!

MOM: That, no, that's what they always do! But, no, that's what they always do! Always put it in the Internet...

DAD: Pow, pow! And then they'll put you in a car and tie you up!

MOM: To be safe, they always say to meet in a public place.

DAD: And then, and then, and then they got a sausage -- a sausage grinder.

MOM: That's what they always do!

DAD: A sausage grinder! And then they put you in the top and go [funny tongue sound]! And out you come, little spaghetti things, out the end.

MOM: That's how that girl got murdered, too.

DAD: And they, and they feed you to their dog!

MOM: She met in the, in a public place in the park that the --

DAD: Here, Rover! [We don't have a dog, that's just him continuing his earlier comment.] Have a little [Kaz]!

MOM: On vacation! I don't know what they did, but...That's what they did! That's not, that's not, that's not safe. Nope. Nope. As I say, anyone the Intermet [sic.] I always have, be leery.

DAD: And besides, why would you want to meet old people?

MOM: Yeah! Old people! Not even your age! That is --

DAD: They're old people!

MOM: And I'm suspicious. You could have the whole Mocha [Sp? again], who knows? You really could. Those nice couples, did you ever see them? [No, but I didn't have time to interject here.] She has a cute face, and she's very pretty. They bring people in their house...

DAD: And kill them!

MOM: And kill them! No, they use some people for sex is what they do.

DAD: And then they kill them!

MOM: And then they kill them!

ME: Uh...

MOM: And they're nice people!

DAD: Oh, very nice!

MOM: Until they find several people in the house and then they kind of burn the house down after. So I don't know, I'd be pretty leery!
_________________________________________________________

That's as much as I got. There's a bunch more, but I didn't record it all. Crazy, no?

-Ka"Bazooka murderer [giggle]"z!