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Re: How Do I Deal?
Posted By: Dracimas, on host 192.173.47.154
Date: Monday, February 14, 2000, at 12:55:58
In Reply To: How Do I Deal? posted by unipeg on Saturday, February 12, 2000, at 13:46:06:

> I'm scared to death. In 4 months, I'll be officially a senior. In 7 months, my brother will be gone forever (except for vacations). In a year, I'll know what college I'm going to go to (probably... I'll at least know which I want to go to). In a year and seven months, I'll be gone forever. I'll have to move hundreds of miles away, and make new friends, and deal with schoolwork without my parents on my back, and after that get a apartment and a job.... This is the first time that the fact that I'm growing up and everything will change has hit me. I'm not upset about getting out of High School or DC, but this is the first year I've really been happy with my life. I'm finally over the teenage "I'm ugly and fat" thing (although that won't change in college, probably).... actually, I guess it's the fact that this is the first year that I've had really good friends who believe the same stuff as me who I can talk to about anything... and the thought that I'll lose touch with many of them and have to leave them just hurts a lot.... I'm scared to death. I don't want my childhood to end. I don't want these 17 years to be all I have with my family. I don't want anything to change. How do you guys deal with it? Those of you in high school, how do you deal with knowing you have to leave? If you're in college, how'd you deal with leaving? If you're past that, what little tidbits of wisdom do you have for a teenager who is scared of the Real World?
>
> Well, at least I'll have you guys.... you'll still be here, waiting for me at my computer, right?
>
> uni"i feel like i'm writing a Dear Abby letter"peg

The day I left home to get married was one of the best days of my life. I had looked forward to that day for a long time. I was 19 and Shannon was 18. We both took a day off to move me out of my parents house. I was going to live by myself for one month and then we'd be married and on our own.

What I didn't realize is that my parents were scared. And helping me move was something they had planned on as a way to adjust. Dad wanted to help me load all my stuff, and Mom was already planning how I could setup/decorate my trailor for my new life. When Shannon and I moved everything out while they were at work and they came home to my empty bedroom they felt robbed. It was one of the biggest mistakes I had ever made. I didn't give them the chance to acclimate.

I guess what I mean to say by all this is that you have to give yourself and your family & friends a chance to acclimate. The change was hard on me but it was harder on my parents, who had the same kind of concerns you have now. And chances are *your* parents do too. Just remember to include those that you're gonna miss as much as you can in the times leading up to the seperation. And when the actual day comes remember that everyone around you is feeling a lot of the same concerns and anxieties as you. Use this time to remember the things about them that always make you smile. Plan the move ahead of time and make it a family event. Make sure all those that you are going to miss the most are invited so they don't feel left out. I promise that if you learn a lesson from *my* mistake you'll be able to make the transition easier on everyone involved.

Drac

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