> > > > I'm trying to start a collection of stupid warnings I see in commercials. One of the ones used often is "Professional driver on closed road." Some favorites of mine:
> > > > Do not drive on the ocean (for a car commercial where the car comes up on the ocean and makes a big splash leaving the others, presumably, drowned)
> > > > Do not use housepaint on face (enough said)
> > > > Don't drive like this or you'll end up like Uncle Carl (the dead-and-cremated guy in an urn in the back seat of an SUV driving maniacally up a mountain)
> > >
> > >
> > > i always get a kick out of the "ask your doctor about. . . " drugs they advertise, like Propecia, Allegra, etc. They talk about how great the drug is, then spend about 40 seconds going over this long list of god-awful side effects. It's like a saturday night live sketch.
> > >
> >
> > The thing that really used to get me were those Claritan commercials when they first came out. They spent fifteen minutes playing happy music, telling me how my life would be changed forever if I used it, and listing a long list of negative side effects; all without ever once explaining what Claritan is supposed to *do*. I guess they assumed everyone already knew, but it could have been cough syrup for all they let on.
> >
> > -M"If Happy Fun Ball is ruptured, seek shelter and cover head. Do not attempt to eat Happy Fun Ball."el
>
> What I found annoying were the first batch of Zyban commercials that came out. The typical commercial, in its entirety, was a narrator saying, "Ask your doctor about Zyban" as a picture of the pill was shown in the background. Okay... well, at least ask your doctor what it is. It had me stumped.
>
> Cheez L("Flammable contents under pressure. Shake vigorously and puncture container before use")iz

Years ago, when my son was working on a construction crew made up mostly of idiots, they took a can of paint, shook it up and placed it next to the fire. Then they got back about 100 feet and shot the can with a .22 rifle. According to reports, it was a nice fireball and a deep boom, but the can came down behind them. The explosion almost blew the fire out. Strangely, nobody called the cops or even an ambulance. Even stranger was the fact that nobody was disintergrated, KIDS, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!
How"still get chills"ard