This joke is so old it belongs in a nursing home.
Maybe some young folks haven't heard it.

A reporter went to a nursing home to interview some old timers. Naturally, he asked how they managed to live so long. There was one old toothless, shakey, guy in a wheelchair who said, "I drank liquor, smoked cigarettes, ate fried foods, chased wild women, and stayed out all night playing poker."

The reporter was astounded. "I can't believe it. Those things should have put you in an early grave! How old are you, anyway?"

The old guy wheezed, trembled, gasped and finally managed to say, "Twenty-eight."
Howard