> Nobody else wants to play them.
> You can play whatever you want, you'll get drowned out in the mix anyway.
> Nobody cares what the bass guitar is playing.
> Tune low enough and turn the amp high enough and you can injure small animals.
> All the best bass parts are played on the synthesizer anyway.
> The lower you go, the cooler you sound.
> Go low enough, and dogs start barking in rhythem
> Buy a fretless bass, and you never have to tune it.
> Turn the treble way up on your amp, play on the high strings with heavy distortion and wha, and you almost don't sound like a bassist trying to imitate a guitarist.
> Break a bass string, and you *know* you're a man.
> Nobody remembers your name.
> You get to explain to people what that "funny looking four-string guitar" is.
> Only Paul McCartney could play one of those Beatle-basses and make it sound good.
> Two words: Cliff Burton

You forgot:
Groupies like to sit on the bass amps.

Mou"met the bass player from Sugar Ray last month -- woo hoo"sie