News Flash Washington, DC December 6,1999 -- The Democratic National Committee has selected an ad hoc committee to determine what the W in George W. Bush's name actually stands for. Committee Chairperson Wanda Smear reported that the committee has narrowed the investigation to just a few possiblities including "Wimp," "Waffle," "Wuzzie," and "Who me?"

Candidate Bush, aka Govenor Bush, aka Dubya, has refused to participate in the investigation, saying, "I think the committee may be politically motivated."