New Zealand's third oldest political party has hung up its claymores. Yes, the great McGillicuddy Highland Army Serious Party has quit the political arena after 22 years. I cannot tell you what a tragedy this is for New Zealand (and indeed worldwide) politics.

The self-declared Laird of Hamilton, Mr Graeme Cairns, has decided to throw in the tartan towel as leader and chief prophet of the clan after they somehow again failed to win a landslide victory in the recent general election. Our new Prime Minister is Helen Clark of the Labour party. I have nothing against Helen Clark or the Labour party as such, but McGillicuddy rule would have been so much better.

The McGillicuddy's main platform over the years has been the Great Leap Backward. They wanted to return us to a feudal society and enforce the wearing of kilts and cute woolly hats for all public occasions. They are also the only political party in the world, as far as I know, whose leader claims to be possessed by a four million year old spirit.

In disbanding the party, the Laird showed honour far beyond the general run of modern politicians. The newspaper quoted him:

"As leader and chief prophet I hold myself personally responsible for this abject failure. I've been shown to be a liar and now I must suffer the consequences." He then went to a public square in the town of Hamilton where he donned sackcloth and ashes, was tarred and feathered by other party members, was placed in specially built stocks, and invited members of the public to pelt him with rotten fruit, which was provided by the party.

Oh, for more politicians of his calibre. We shall not look upon his like again.

Brunnen-"only 2660 votes nationwide ... it's so sad"G