> > Is there any way to resolve this situation that is not *technically* a felony?
>
> Sounds like you two are having a lot of fun. How about this? Give her the URL of the first post in this thread -- send it to her in an email, along with the seemingly innocent question, "Do you think you can help with this?"
>


Heh. Amusing idea, but she also tends to be the most oblivious person in the world. She probably wouldn't even get it.


> Nah, probably a bad idea -- too impersonal. I'll go with my initial thought, which would be a simple confrontation. "Sit down and talk about it" kind of thing. Maybe without Darien around, to spare her potential embarrassment that she might manifest with aggression or denial or some other unproductive emotion. Just tell her that what she's doing is destructive and that you'd like to talk with her about whatever the problem is so that you two can work out a constructive relationship. Word it in a way that suits you, but I think the idea of this last part is the most important: that immediately indicates to her that you're (1) not out to berate her for her actions, and (2) interested in being friends with her. For all I know, the fear that you're *not* interested in being friends with her anymore is the reason she's upset.
>
> But explain to her in no uncertain terms that Darien makes you happy and that it is hurtful to you when she says things about him. As long as you approach her rationally, diplomatically, and sincerely, it would be difficult for her not to oblige.
>
> It would help to know what her motivation for all this is. I've got two guesses: one, she thinks Darien is a geek, you're too good for him, and she has a naturally meddling personality that would like to "make things right." Two, almost the opposite: she's jealous.


Although I'm inclined to agree with the first reason just to spite Darien... ^_^ She tends to be the kind of person who must have everything everyone else has. One of her most common comments is "All my friends have boyfriends and I don't. That's not fair." My best guess for her motivation is that she's decided she's not happy so her friends can't be either. Keep in mind two of our other close friends are engaged, and she's done just about everything in her power to break them up too.


> Knowing which (or if it's another reason entirely) would certainly help determine what the best way to approach her is, but I think the basic principles are the same, no matter what. Assuming you two were friends, or at least friendly, before, this *should* be something you can resolve via open discussion, assuming she is the least bit rational or compassionate at all.


Heh. Assuming she'll react the least bit rationally is probably not a wise thing to do. But thank you for all the advice. I know I need to confront her about it... I just also know she's going to get very upset at me when I do. And I'm just not looking forward to that.

I'll let you know what happens...

~Mina "I absolutely cannot think of anything amusing to put in here" moon