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SOAT update #86
Posted By: gremlinn, on host 66.75.0.72
Date: Tuesday, April 1, 2008, at 22:59:12
In Reply To: SOAT update #85 posted by gremlinn on Saturday, March 1, 2008, at 14:38:42:

Currently at 14394075 bytes. To make up for the lack of anything interesting to report lately, I'll provide here a preview, a poem from near the start of the game. As part of an AGL game, it is copyrighted, so don't copy it. Enjoy!

The following is an account from The Letters of Gnome:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Queen's Conundrum ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fair Queen Katrina, beloved of Parcill,
Pledged to the gnomes of Leveaux her goodwill.
"Come, Lord Malent, Lady Beth, Sir Hircyte!
Come! We will feast and make merry tonight!
All of your brothers and sisters, too, come!
Drink of the finest of sweet Parcill rum!"

So read the message she gave to Knight Joe,
Sending him off on his horse to Leveaux.
Thomas, the cook, then rushed in. "Oh, dear me!
All of those gnomes? Such short notice! Aiyeee!"
"Silence!" Katrina then shouted, "You twit!
Only ELEVEN they number! That's it!"

On went the morning, the usual fare.
Joe came a-riding back pulling his hair,
Stalked through the palace, a look of chagrin
Worn on his face as he traveled therein.
"Well?" asked Katrina, "The news is not good?"
"Oh!" cried the poor knight, "they misunderstood!"

"Misunderstood? Please explain!" she bid Joe.
"More than eleven are planning to show.
Perhaps my translation to Gnomish was off...
Maybe my accent?" he tried with a cough.
"Gah! Then how many will come?" asked the queen.
"Well," he admitted, "EIGHT HUNDRED THIRTEEN!"

Then Queen Katrina fell back in her throne,
Shocked by the number -- yes, chilled to the bone.
"Guards, the alarm! To the servants, send word!
Head for the kitchens!" she cried, then averred:
"Yes, there's still time! Tom, you've done this before!"
"Hurry, make food for eight hundred two more!"

So spoke the queen as the noon sun reared high.
Soon all were busy with stews, bread, and pie,
Rushing to cook for the gnomes' aunts and sons,
Cousins, god-daughters, half-uncles, grandsons.
Off rode Knight Joe on a much tired steed,
Told to delay the gnomes, told to *succeed*.

Hours passed quickly, the time growing short.
All those not cooking were cleaning the court.
All but Katrina, who stood at the gate.
Standing and watching the sunset, her fate
Balancing on the night's outcome, no doubt.
Angering the gnomes would bring war...no, a rout!

Much had gone wrong with relations these years.
Oft had the gnomes answered invites with jeers.
Battles -- from these the Parcillans would run,
Gnomes felling humans with ratio five:one!
"Why have things come to this? Why?" sighed the queen.
Darkness was falling; the clock struck nineteen.

"Diplomat" Joe was the cause of this ill.
Seven long years he had served to fulfill
All the queen's messages sent to gnomes' hold.
Butchered them, really. "We'll give you that gold!"
Came out as "Silly gnomes! Choke on raw fish!"
None else among the queen's men spoke Gnomish!

So it was, then, after Joe's final line
("Death to your mother, you fat porcupine!")
All of Leveaux took to arms, mad and vexed.
Joe was torn limb from limb, Parcill came next.
Gnomes by the myriad stormed 'cross the lands
Just as the cooks, finished, wiped off their hands.

"Gnomes in sight!" "Number?" "Oh, what will we do?
FORTY-FIVE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED AND TWO!"
Everyone screamed, for they knew that their men
Stood not a chance, not outnumbered times ten!
So fell the land of Parcill on that night.
Vastly superior, the gnomes ruled the fight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


> 37 locations, 319150 bytes (8625 per location) [2001/03/25]
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> 485 loc, 8889647 bytes (18329 pl) [2004/02/01] **
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> 10063192 bytes [2004/10/23] ***
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> 14327569 bytes [2008/03/01]
>
> *, **, *** = change of metric for game size

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