So, I've worked overnight cleaning the theater for four years, and in that time, I've found a lot of strange things. Things you normally would not EXPECT to find in a movie theater, some you would. I've found articles of clothing and books that I have appropriated for myself, and money is always a welcome inhabitant, but sometimes, you run across something you don't expect.

For me, the winner of the strangest and most random thing to find in a movie theater came last night. In my long tenure as a cleaner, I've found peanut shells, sunflower seeds, pistachio shells, fast food wrappers, fast food food, fast food vomit, and, as we edge into the stranger territory, chicken bones, actual fried chicken, a hockey puck, broccoli stalks (not the little ones, the big old long ones), and, the most recent champion, an actual ear of corn, minus the corn. I won't go into the condoms, diapers and tampons side of the job.

But last night, I found the winner. This is it. I can quit now, because there's no point in working any more. There's nothing more to see. I went into the theater, walked up the aisle to the top row, and as the top row came into view, I noticed something sitting on the arm rest. I first thought it was a banana, because of the yellowish tinge to it, but as my mind started to evaluate it, I noticed it had a streak of red. I thought "Rotten banana," but immediately rejected the idea in favor of "Banana With Straberry Drizzle," and on the heels of that "Damn, that's gonna be a nasty mess to clean."

And then my brain registered what it actually was.

That's it. Game over. Thanks for playing. We have our winner.