I know Im going to get questions about the condition of my face so I am practicing some comebacks> (I hope you can read this. I can.t see what i.m typing)

If you think this is bad, you should see the other guy.

Never kiss a fan until you turn it off.

This big guy told me to shut up and I thought he said stand up.

I guess she was talking to me, but I wasn.t listening.

How was I to know there was no water in the pool?Howard