I'm not just trying for a long-subject-line record. I have a problem that is typical of the ones I usually get, but this one has gone crazy.

We have a loud sound on our phone. It's a constant-frequency tone, loud enough to drive us nutty, but not loud enough to completely blank out conversation. We hear it, but the people we are talking to don't.

So I performed the usual check. I unplugged the phones, the DSL, the wireless, the fax, and even the TV which has to plug into the phone system so that caller ID appears on the screen. Most of the phones have filters, to allow the DSL to work, so I unplugged those.

Then, screw driver in hand, I went out to the telephone interface and plugged in a phone. No noise. I sounded fine. So we tried a single phone in several phone jacks, and every darned one of them had the noise.

Is there something I missed? Does it mean there is a loose wire somewhere in the attic or basement? Who're you gonna call? Ghostbusters? A plumber? An eletrician? The phone company, Larry, the Satellite TV Guy? A shrink?

As usual, the problem is not *fixing* it as much as it is *finding* it. As you can see, the internet still works, and we can still use the phone a little. We haven't tried the fax or the wireless.

At least the cell phone is OK. Any suggestions?
Howard