Return To the Blue Lagoon would have done better as a remake to The Blue Lagoon than a sequel, because that's what it is. After altering the original's weak but poetic final scene, the plot gears grind away, and quickly the circumstances of two children marooned on an island reestablish themselves. From then on, the film cycles through all the plot points in the original but less well, believe it or not. Faster, too, because there's a dumb melodramatic clash with civilization to rush to for the end.

The acting and dialogue is mind-numbing. The original was notorious for this, but it's far, far worse here. This movie has no understanding of human nature and no insight whatsoever about what it would be like for two people to grow up in isolation from others. Some things are learned from others in society, and others are learned by experience in the natural course of things. This movie gets them all mixed up. The characters are conscientious about things they wouldn't be and not at all about others.

This, combined with the atrocious acting, the proceedings are either excruciating or laughable, and maybe both.