Reload this page for a new random thought.

#34

Something very scary happens to grown adults when they get around babies. They talk funny. Suddenly they have to refer to themselves in the third person. "Mommy's going to go fix dinner now," Mommy says. "Yeah, and Baby'll chew on this doorknob until you get back," Baby thinks. Small wonder this nation's literacy rate is so low. Parents take awkward yet deliberate steps to avoid teaching their children what a pronoun is. I think a new law should be created to regulate this. All new parents should have to wear collars rigged with electrical devices. Whenever Mommy says "Mommy" or Daddy says "Daddy," the collar detects it and administers a friendly corrective action consisting of a few hundred volts. That should do the trick.