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#41

Appetizers should not be so huge. You go in to a restaurant, order some potato skins to pass the time before the meal comes, and they bring out a tray the size of a large pizza. And it's crammed with potato skins sopping in mozzarella cheese coated with a glistening sheen of fat. Here's a hint, restaurants: if most people can't eat a whole large pizza as their entire meal, even fewer are going to be able to eat an equivalent amount of potato skins and still have room to eat a fully-fledged dinner afterward. I think restaurants should be required to bill you just on what you eat rather than what you are served. The waiter weighs the food before bringing it out, weighs it when you're done, and you pay for the difference. I propose this partly because I'm sick of shaking my wallet empty every time I enter a restaurant and partly because I've already come up with a great scam. I'd conceal a container of yesterday's dried-up homemade lasagna on my person, eat my fill of restaurant food, then dump out the lasagna afterward. The waiter would determine that I had eaten almost nothing, and presto -- a nice big meal for 32 cents. If I do it right, they might even pay me.