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#78

The only reason I want to be a writer is so I can have an AGENT. Then I could to go parties and say things like, "Excuse me. I have to call my AGENT," and "I'm sorry. That was my AGENT." I would visit my neighbors for the express purpose of saying to them, "Oh, may I use your phone? I have to call my AGENT." What other reason is there for being a writer, actor, or athlete? In fact, I wouldn't ever write anything. I'd just tell an agent, "I'll periodically send you checks if you let me call you my AGENT." Actually, I think I'll become an agent. I'll represent only myself, and then I'll be able to submit to publishing houses who don't accept unagented manuscripts.