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#205

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, the biggest, meanest, maddest competition you've seen yet! One will win. The rest will...EAT DIRT. Yes, I'm talking about what should be the geek's version of the Monster Truck arena, namely, the Monster PDA Battle Royale! Tickets are on sale now for 12 straight hours of mad digital mayhem. Wireless network transmissions will be flying everywhere! Processors getting stabbed by styluseses! People touching the LCD screens too firmly! One will win. The rest will...EAT BANDWIDTH. . . . . . . . . . Ok, so I don't really think that's a good idea, but I think we do need some kind of alternative to Monster Truck derbies, you know, for intelligent people. (Ha ha, BURN!) Maybe we could have Monster Science Fair Demolition contests, where high school kids go around setting other people's chemical displays on fire. A Monster Chess Tournament might be fun, too -- this 50 foot mechanized knight could come out and get all Godzilla on the rooks. And surely nothing could prepare you for...the Monster Mensa Math Festival Smackdown! You've never seen such massive homeomorphic isometries, crushing polytopes everywhere with their lethal surjections.