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The Cat's Meow

By David J. Parker

Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard

Darius, the Big Warrior

Wizards are bad.

Saymite, the Raven-Haired Wizard

Take us to our leader.

Darius, the Big Warrior

Ok, but I hate you.

Daerleena, the Blonde-Haired Wizardess

Wah. He hates us. I suck.

(Darius, the Big Warrior, leads Saymite, the Raven-Haired Wizard, and Daerleena, the Blonde-Haired Wizardess, to the stronghold of Stamos, the Leader of All Wizards Everywhere. He listens to the two wizards TALK and has his PANCREAS eaten by a PUPPY. There is ADVENTURE and THRILLS and STUFF THAT DOESN'T HAVE ANY RELEVANCE TO THE PLOT.)

Darius, the Big Warrior

Now that our adventure is over, I've suddenly gained control of my emotions.

Daerleena, the Blonde-Haired Wizardess

Now that our adventure is over, I've suddenly gained self-esteem.

Saymite, the Raven-Haired Wizard

Now that our adventure is over, I've suddenly gained Daerleena.

THE END

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