Archives: Bleeding Excessively II
This transcript isn't nearly as cringe-inducing as the first
Bleeding Excessively archive;
still, the very faint-hearted might not want to read this.
Leen has entered.
Faux_Pas: It's Leen! Huzzah!
Sosiqui: Huzzah? F_P, you a MSTie?
Faux_Pas: Well yes, but I also love the word "Huzzah." I go to RenFests just so I can say it.
Liface has entered.
Faux_Pas: Liface! Huzzah!
* Travholt actually is a twin -- not identical, though, and his sibling was aborted long before birth.
Travholt: Actually, they cleaned out my mom's uterus because my sibling was stuck in her oviduct (she nearly died), but somehow I was in there and survived the whole thing.
Faux_Pas: Oo, wow. That's... weird, Travholt.
Travholt: Yeah... I'm a miracle. :-) I shouldn't be alive, according to the doctors.
Faux_Pas: Weird and amazing.
Sosiqui: I know a lot of people who shouldn't be alive... but man, am I ever glad they are. :)
dingdong: My sister was born with three kidneys.
* Monkeyman was almost killed by a doctor's misdiagnosis at age twelve... But that's a story not suited for this place, and kind of personal anyway. It was pretty scary, though.
Monkeyman: The cool thing about my story: I had to undergo emergency surgery on New Year's Eve 1989/1990. I was under the gas for the New Year. I really feel sorry for the doctors, though...
Monkeyman: I can just picture it. "Clamp?" "Clamp." "Suction?" "On it." "Happy New Year." "Thanks." "Scalpel?" "Scalpel."
* Faux_Pas was almost killed once by a stupid patch of ice on a highway.
dingdong: I slid on my face down a hill.
* Ticia was almost killed by a stupid cow on a road...
Sosiqui: I ran into a pole once and cut my face open with my glasses.
Sosiqui: That was in third grade... Tip. When you are playing tag, do NOT look behind you to see if the IT is behind you while you are running. I turned around in time to slam my face into a pole.
Ayako: I... uh... slipped on some soda and sprained my ankle once...
dingdong: I opened a bottle of lemonade once, and it exploded and sprayed glass everwhere, cutting a big gash up the side of my face.
Faux_Pas: I've got a scar above my right eye caused by my glasses and some horrible pass coverage. I should have juked to the left instead of to the right.
Sosiqui: My sister electrocuted herself once.
dingdong: I've got a scar under my eyebrow from when I was thrown through the windscreen of a car.
Leen: I've electrocuted myself. Once when I was a kid I took a nice long blade of hay and touched an electric fence with it.
Sosiqui: My sister also burned herself on the cigarette lighter in the car.
Ayako: My brother's done that. He wanted to see if it was hot. It was.
Ticia: I might have told this story before, but I've got a long scar on the bottom of my foot. I stepped on a piece of glass (or something) and sliced into the nerves and an artery in my foot....
Ticia: And the shot of stuff they gave me for the pain bled out before they were done stitching me up...
* Sosiqui feels the pain. OW.
Ticia: after, everyone kept stepping on it, of course. (I think it's one of Murphy's laws) and my big toenail fell off...
Ayako: Ew, Ticia!
Sosiqui: When I cut my head open, the hospital GLUED it back together.
Sosiqui: When my head was glued back together, it STUNG like crazy... I've never heard of anyone else who ever got glued instead of stitches.
Faux_Pas: Sosiqui -- oh yes, there's a medical version of superglue that is used for stitching these days.
Faux_Pas: Anyway, seeing as how there's no meat or loose skin there, they weren't able to use stiches to close the wound.
dingdong: I was warming up for a dancing concert when I was about 18, and I did a split leap in the air and landed on the top of my foot, throwing my entire weight onto it and breaking it.
dingdong: It's much better to land on the bottom of your foot.
Leen: I once was walking on my hands and knees pretending to be a horsey, and my hand landed on a nice big piece of glass.
Leen: I don't have a scar, though.
Sosiqui: When I was about 9, I was on a tire swing, and I twisted my ankle SO bad... it turned purple and blue... owow.
* 10Kan once broke his arm, and the hospital he went to couldn't find their orthopedic surgeon, so they gave him a brace and some STRONG painkillers, and sent him almost halfway across the state to another hospital.
Travholt: We had electric fences which sent pulses about every second. I was trying to jump in the air, touch the wire while the pulse went through it, and then let go before I landed again.
Travholt: The theory was that, like the birds, since I had no contact with ground, I wouldn't get any shock. Either I was wrong, or I missed, because I got the shock and it felt like my stomach was turned upside down.
Faux_Pas: One day I was walking over to the convenience store on the corner and tripped and fell on this guard rail on the side of the road which was damaged and it split a two inch long gash in the front of my leg, right where the bone is.
Ellmyruh: MWAHAHAHAH!!! I made this guy talk on the record!!
dingdong: I was on a swing once and I was trying to make it swing really high and then jump off doing a really cool trick. I neglected to make sure that the area was clear and bashed my front teeth into a nearby park bench.
Ticia: oh, swing story!!!
Ticia: I tried to beat the record for highest jump off a swing....
Ticia: I must have twisted wrong or something, because I landed on my hip...
* Sosiqui winces. OwowowowowOW.
Ticia: On the bright side, though, I got to get out of school for a week or so...
Ticia: of course, I couldn't move off the couch for the whole week, either. :-(
dingdong: Swings are bad.
dingdong: I can remember being absolutely sure that if I swung myself high enough, I could make the swing go right around :-)
Faux_Pas: One time, I tried to see if I could swing high enough to loop around the top bar like in cartoons. I don't really remember what happened, but there was some injury involved.
Sosiqui: I launched myself off a swing once. I was absolutely convinced I would fly. I did fly, but then I went DOWN. HARD.
Travholt: My father used to grab a hold of the fence when he had his rubber boots on, because it didn't hurt very much. Then he decided he would play a prank on one of our calves and give him a shock by touching him.
Travholt: He said it felt like his arms got ripped off. :-)
dingdong: I have a friend who completely uprooted her gluteus maximus from trying to jump into the splits without warming up.
dingdong: She couldn't sit down for six months.
Sosiqui: My sister SLAMMED her head into a window once... the blood stains NEVER came off of the concrete.
Thanatos: I once ran over my own foot with a three wheeler.
dingdong: My sister, who sometimes comes to RW, stepped on an axe once.
Sosiqui: Oooh, when I was in Sweden, once, I fell through the ice in a lake. That was SO SCARY.
dingdong: Oooh, scary!
Sosiqui: I was saved, obviously, but I dimly remember how DARK and COLD it was... *shudders* I was like 3.
dingdong: I was getting off a dinghy and onto a yacht when I was little, and the boat moved and I slipped down the middle into the water.
Faux_Pas: Back in the park in Illinois, there's a great valley-thing that's just perfect for sledding, except it had a huge oak tree in the middle of the valley. We called that the Nutcracker. My friends and I were stupider than normal. Instead of sledding down the long way, we decided to sled down the steep sides and see how close we could get to the tree.
Faux_Pas: I was one of the poorer kids, so all I had was the cheapest thing you could buy and use as a sled: a saucer. I got in that thing, started to go downhill, but my weight was shifted to the rear, which doesn't matter much in a saucer because it just pivots and suddenly you're going downhill backwards. That made it hard to avoid the Nutcracker.
Faux_Pas: That's one of the few times I've actually blacked out.
Thanatos: Faux, I did something like that once, after rebounding off a few trees, I landed, and got the wind knocked out of me, this was the first time this had happened, I thought I was going to die. I didn't, but my back seriously ached for weeks.
Sosiqui: My mom once dropped a fluorescent light bulb... you know, one of those long ones... RIGHT onto my uncle's head. It shattered on his head.
Travholt: Here's a cool one: When I was about 12, I had to do barn chores. I had a splitting headache. I was half running and jumped down a small stairway with a low roof and WHAMMO hit my head in a roof beam.
Travholt: The cool thing is, I didn't get a bump, and the headache disappeared!
Ticia: Trav: my brother (tbone in here) did that on our stairs once. We had to wake him up every couple of hours that night to ask him if he knew his name.
Sosiqui: My mom also once was crawling around in the snow, when she was little, and she kneeled right on a broken bottle. She still has the scar.
dingdong: My boyfriend rolled his speedcar five times, does that qualify?
Liface: One time, I bashed heads with folex, and I saw funny colors dancing in the wind.
Sosiqui: When we were on a family trip, driving down the autobahn in Germany at like 100 mph, we had a spin out. THAT was FREAKY.
Sosiqui: We didn't get hit by any cars, but our car was in the fast lane when it started and when the spinning had stopped we were on the other side of the road.
Liface: Dang auto bon.
Liface: Kills people.
Sosiqui: Considering it was in rush hour on the autobahn... we were VERY lucky. (Well, no, we were blessed.)
dingdong: My mum used to go on Fox Hunts when she was younger. One time, was galloping throught the bush and she got hit in the head by a branch and was pulled off her horse.
Thanatos: Once, at a family reunion, my cousin was pedaling a pedal boat, I climbed on back and one of the blades that propels it sliced into my knee. I dropped into the water and almost drowned because it hurt so much to use my leg.
Liface: A few days ago, I got hit in the eye with a branch, and folex told me I was bleeding. And I found out my eye was bleeding. I couldn't see out of it for about 20 minutes.
* Sosiqui thinks ALL these stories are OOOOOOW.
Faux_Pas: The next winter, I had a real sled to replace my mangled saucer. It was one of those sleds with the hand brakes, which were little plastic things about the size of forks that you pull on and the forks dig into the snow, not stopping you. Now, at the base of this other valley, there was a road that's closed during the winter because something like what I'm telling you happens occasionally. My forks failed to slow me down and I hit a mound of snow, jumped OVER the road, and landed my butt right on the curb on the other side. It was the only time I've actually broken a bone.
Sam: THAT RULES!!!
Faux_Pas: Anyway, when I landed, I was still in the plastic sled. Where my tuckus was supposed to go was a huge hole in the plastic.
Faux_Pas: You can't really put a cast on a broken tailbone.
Faux_Pas: They gave me a round cushion that looked like a doughnut. Years later I found out that they usually use those for hemorrhoid sufferers.
Faux_Pas: I had to use that thing to cushion my hindquarters for three weeks.
* Leen has landed on her tailbone falling off a horse and falling down stairs. It has to be one of the WORST pains.
Sosiqui: Gee, for all the times I've been skiing, you'd think I'd have a good skiing-pain-blood-ow story, but I don't.
Sosiqui: Oh wait! Yes I do! I half impaled my arm with a ski pole once!!
Sosiqui: This guy skiied into me when I was a little skibunny, and his pole went through all my ski clothes and STABBED my arm.
Liface: Geez, it seems all my getting hurt stories have to do with folex. Like one time, I was over at his house, and he threw a CD at me from point blank range. I saw my life flash before my eyes. It went 1/2 inch over my head.
dingdong: When I was little, I had a tricycle that I used to take up to the top of a nearby hill and then race down as fast as possible. One day, I was doing this and someone started coming the opposite way. When I used what little steering ability I had to move out of the way, the person I was fast running into moved to get out of the way as well. Unfortunately he moved the same direction that I did, and we both collided and went careening down the hill together.
Sosiqui: Oh! I fell off a horse once!
dingdong: I got trampled by a horse once.
Sosiqui: He was going over a jump... well, we were practicing jumping, and the jump was like 6 inches above the ground since I was just learning, and he sped up faster than he was supposed to and JUMPED really high and I FELL off.
Sosiqui: Then this other time, I was grooming one of the horses, this FAT old horse, and she STEPPED on my foot. That HURT.
* Leen has had her foot stepped on only once. She learned quick.
dingdong: One of my Mum's horses is a real pain, and we were helping get him into the float and he butted my boyfriend in the groin.
Travholt: One our way home from school in 1st or 2nd year, one of the other kids was going to throw discus with a flat rock. He told us to back away, so I took a few steps back. I just remember a big round shadow coming right at me, before... WHAMMO! in the middle of my face.
Sosiqui: Gee. Now that I think of it, I guess I have had mayhem in my life. Most of it didn't involve blood, is all.
Faux_Pas: Back when I was in high school, I learned to ski in the Alps. I say that to impress the chickies; I actually learned how to repeatedly slam my face into the side of a mountain every twenty meters or so. I was on the blue slope, which was the easiest way to get down from where I was. There was a 45-degree slope with moguls that was iced over. When I came to, one ski slid by me and the other was stuck perpendicular to the slope about fifteen feet upslope. All I did was get a bloody nose.
Faux_Pas: When I got to the base of the mountain, I checked my backpack and felt something flat and wet. It was the orange I packed that day for lunch.
Travholt: And another time, all the kids were playing in the school yard, running around and jumping on one another. I jumped onto the back of some older kid, throwing my arms around his neck. He grabbed my arm and threw me over his head, sending me WHAMMO head-first into the asphalt. That hurt.
Travholt: And once, when the bell had rung for a class, I was running after someone else around a corner in the corridor and was about to run through a door, when someone pushed me sideways, so I ran WHAMMO head-first into the concrete wall instead.
Liface: One time, I stubbed my toe getting out of bed.
Travholt: I jumped out of a sofa once, and landed on my big toe (stepping on it with the foot it's attached to). Half a year later, it still hurt a little when I bent it.
Faux_Pas: I've got a problem with heights. I was at Red River Ski Area, just north of Taos, a few months ago and did rather good on two of the lifts, but was exhausted at the end of a run. My wife convinced me to head back to the ski lodge by going up to the quarter-way up station and skiing over and down. So we got on. It turns out that the quarter-way station is a loading only station and I had to go up to the half-way point, which is really the two-thirds point. I freaked out so much, I almost jumped off the ski lift. Way to go, natural instincts.
Faux_Pas: "I'm sixty feet up in the air with only a narrow pole and a skinny wire supporting me! I'm going to die!"
Sosiqui: Ooooh, hey, once I was on a T-bar lift in Austria. Those lifts are the STUPIDEST lifts EVER.
Sosiqui: And my sister and I fell off of it, and the only way to get down was a black diamond run. I was 10, and she was 6. We scooted down on our behinds.
Sosiqui: and the first pair of kids fell off, they rolled into the next pair, and eventually everyone fell off.
Faux_Pas: Yeah, it was a t-bar -- one pole in the center. It freaked me out so much, I fell nine times going back down, one time ripping my ski pants and another time almost tearing my left leg out of the hip socket. But I made it back okay.
Faux_Pas: I did use a lot of foul language that afternoon.
Ticia: LOL. Don is at an all day meeting (They're changing how they do things at his company, he was in an all day meeting yesterday, too.) He says "We're in the middle of a production simulation in our meeting. My team is the Slaughtered Lambs and the other is the Mad Cows. We are using Sticklebricks to put together different products. It's actually real fun. If nothing else I'll be able to supervise the production of tinker-toy stuff."
Travholt: I have a really funny ski lift story, but it's kinda complicated to tell.
Travholt: It's not about the lift itself, actually. It's about entering through its gates.
Travholt: Have you gone through those kind of gates where there are three metal bars revolving?
Travholt: You put your card in, and get a green light, and go through, revolving the bars, right?
Faux_Pas: Travholt, they're called "turnstiles". Quite common in the States.
Monkeyman: I have never seen a lift like that. All the Canadian lifts have attendants who manually check your lift ticket...
Travholt: Ah. Turnstiles.
Travholt: Well, here there were two narrow lines, separated by wooden fences.
Travholt: Ok, so I was in the left line, and my buddy had gone through the right one.
Travholt: Somehow, I manage to go through the turnstile with only one leg, so I'm stuck with the bar between my legs.
Monkeyman: I don't like where this is going...
* Monkeyman winces in anticipation of sympathy pain.
* Faux_Pas winces too.
Travholt: My first thought is: Oh, well, I can just put the card in once more.
Travholt: But they have a time limit on them to prevent cheating; a card won't work until at least five minutes or so after you've used it there.
Travholt: Ok, so my next thought is to get my friend to use his card, but that's no good, either.
Travholt: So I decide to try and get my foot over anyway.
Travholt: But then I can't get the tip of the ski all the way over, so my foot turns around and the tip finally comes over, but then I have one foot and ski in different directions.
* Monkeyman has done that. It SUCKS!
Monkeyman: I do it off in the trees, though, rather than in the lines.
Monkeyman: Too many trees = no room to turn a ski around...
Travholt: And I'm caught in a narrow line between the wooden fences.
Travholt: And the line behind me is building up.
Travholt: People start laughing more and more, and I try to unjumble my skis and feet.
Travholt: And my buddy is almost ROFL.
* Monkeyman would have ROFLd at Travholt. Sorry...
Travholt: FINALLY it occurs to me that I can just undo the binding on one of my skis.
Faux_Pas: The first time I used a tow rope, I thought I could let go just before the last rise and my momentum would coast me up and over to the unloading area. It didn't. I wiped out about six people behind me. This was the bunny slope on the top of the mountain with the cliff at the base. Yeah, that makes sense.
Sosiqui: They have these little conveyor belt lifts for the LITTLE kids now.
Sosiqui: It looks like a factory assembly line, or something. They stand on the belt, up they go, ski down, back on, repeat.
Travholt: I went on a bike trip last autumn, and it was in the dark, and I had no lights on the bike. I was going the upper of two pathways along a marina. The pathways are separated by a few yards of grassy slope.
Travholt: Now, the upper of the pathways had some road workers and a truck standing on it, so I decided to cross over the grassy hill to the lower of the paths. So I did, and WHAMMO! flew over the handles and got the bike over me.
Travholt: I had hit a hidden hole in the grass. The road workers came over and asked if I was OK. I said I was. I wasn't hurt at all. "That was quite a stunt you pulled," one of them said.
Ellmyruh: Travholt, you have the BESTEST stories!
Travholt: Heheh, thanks! I was reading WHAMMO the other day, and thought "That kinda stuff never happens to me!" but then I realized that they actually do! :-)
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