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Archives: The Admin War of the Ages


Here's Dave and I dueling it out. Those of who you have read and liked The Duel of the Ages may appreciate this brief reprisal. Before it reprises that, however, it threatens to continue Group Therapy; familiarity with that chat transcript will help.

At this juncture, Dave had long made his "MOUSIE!" greeting trademarked, requiring all others who use it to append "TM Dave" or suffer the consequences. The inevitable points of contention had, by this time, all been brought up: for instance, that you can't trademark something merely by saying so. But, as usual, logic does not win out, and Dave's claim to the ownership of the "MOUSIE!" greeting remains defended.

Mousie has entered.
Sam: MOUSIE! (TM Sam)
RinkChat: User Sam has been kicked from the chat room by Dave.
Sam has left.
Sam has entered.
Sam: I don't understand why I was kicked.
Dave: TM Sam? I don't think so.
Sam: Yeah, I made that greeting up.
Sam: And I decided to trademark it.
RinkChat: User Sam has been kicked from the chat room by Dave.
Sam has left.
Sam has entered.
Sam: Ok, why was I kicked that time??
* Sam fears Dave is having a sudden attack of irrationality and venting it by physical abuse to my person.
Dave: For pretending you made up *my* patented Mousie-greeting.
Sam: Didn't I??
Dave: No. I distinctly remember making it up myself. It started as me just randomly shouting MOUSIE! because it sounded cool.
Dave: Eventually, it became a greeting. Then I trademarked it. So quit it.
Sam: But you said that on RinkWorks, and I own RinkWorks...
Dave: Nope. It doesn't work that way. It distinctly says in the RinkWorks Rules of Engagement that anyone can TM a saying in RinkChat. Everyone includes me.
Dave: But in order for the Trademark to hold, it must be defended staunchly. If it falls into public use, it loses its trademarked status.
Mousie: Can't we all just get along?
Dave: No, we can't. Sam and I have an issue of honor here. He tried to steal my Mousie-greeting. Now we must duel.
* Dave slaps Sam in the face with a glove
RinkChat: User Dave has been kicked from the chat room by Sam.
Dave has left.
Dave has entered.
Sam: I win.
Dave: No no, not that kind of duel. A duel of honor. With pistols or rapiers or something.
Sam: Oh.
RinkChat: User Dave has been shot dead by Sam.
Sam: I win.
Dave: Sam: Gah! No, no no. That wasn't a duel of *honor*. You just shot me in the back of the head! Come on now, do it *right*
Dave: Now I think, as the one who was challenged, you get to choose weapons.
Sam: Fine. I choose wits as weapons.
Dave: Uh. I'm not sure that's legal, but ok.
Sam: The way wit works is, I wit shoot you in the head, and you wit die.
Sam: I changed my mind. I choose fictional characters as weapons.
Blood_Drops has entered.
Dave: Well, I'm not sure *that* is legal, but ok.
Blood_Drops: When that Darius gets here, I'll psychoanalyze him to death.
DariusLongshore has entered.
DariusLongshore: Hey everyone. *sigh*
Blood_Drops: Ah.
DariusLongshore: Hey BD. what's up?
Blood_Drops: Darius, how do you feel about your parents?
DariusLongshore: I'm not even sure I *have* parents. Dave, do I have parents?
Dave: Yeah, they're mentioned early on in your story. You look like your Dad, except he's bald.
DariusLongshore: Oh, ok. BD: I like my parents. But my dad is bald.
Blood_Drops: I think we should hold hands.
DariusLongshore: I don't think I like holding hands. Dave, do I like holding hands?
Dave: Darius: Jeez! No!
DariusLongshore: Ok. BD: I don't want to hold hands.
Blood_Drops: Maybe we should hold heads, then.
Sam: Sigh. This is boring.
RinkChat: User Blood_Drops has been kicked from the chat room by Sam.
Blood_Drops has left.
RinkChat: User DariusLongshore has been kicked from the chat room by Dave.
DariusLongshore has left.
DariusLongshore has entered.
DariusLongshore: Ok, that's *IT*
DariusLongshore: I am *sick* and *tired* of getting kicked around all the time!
Dave: Whoa...
DariusLongshore: You people are all going to pay for this!
Mousie: Darius: It's about time! Will you PUHLease stand up and be a man?
DariusLongshore: I *intend* to!
DariusLongshore: I'm all done being the wimpy pansy. Dave, you keep making me be a wuss because it makes you feel better about yourself. Well NO MORE.
Dave: Uh...
DariusLongshore: I've been sitting here on my duff for three years waiting for you to get your head out of your rectum.
* Dave gurgles
DariusLongshore: Well, forget it, man!
Mousie: You, Go, Darius!
Mousie: I LOVE THIS!
DariusLongshore: I may be a fictional character, but I'm still my own man!
ladadadada: Yay for Darius !
* Brunnen_G can't WAIT to see what Darius does!
DariusLongshore: I can do what I want! If I want to go bash heads, I don't have to wait for you to *tell* me to go bash heads!
DariusLongshore: I'll just go find some heads to bash on my *own*
DariusLongshore: Starting with yours!
* DariusLongshore bashes Dave's head.
RinkChat: User Dave has been labeled 'unconscious' by Dave.
* Dave falls over
DariusLongshore: HAHAHAHA! That felt so GOOD!
Blood_Drops has entered.
Blood_Drops: Ah! My arch-nemesis!
DariusLongshore: Drops! You're back! I'm myself again! Let's have at it!
* Blood_Drops draws his sword.
Blood_Drops: En garde!
* DariusLongshore pulls a puppy out of his stomach... I mean, draws his sword.
* DariusLongshore runs Blood Drops through with his sword
* Blood_Drops opens up a portal because...that's what one does in these kinds of battles.
* DariusLongshore opens a portal and follows Blood Drops
* Blood_Drops vanishes!

With some conniving trickery, I set it up so Blood Drops would not appear in the "Users Online" list, though he was still present in the chat room.

Blood_Drops: You can't see me, Darius...
Blood_Drops: But I can see you...
* Blood_Drops thwacks Darius on the butt and darts away.
Blood_Drops: Scared, Darius?
* DariusLongshore looks around for the source of that familiar voice
Blood_Drops: Boo!
* DariusLongshore flails around uselessly with his sword, trying to find BD
* Blood_Drops pops Darius on the head with a goat.
DariusLongshore: Come out and fight like a man, coward!
Brunnen_G: Close your eyes .... feel the Force...
* DariusLongshore pulls out an anti-invisible pill, eats it, and looks around for Blood Drops
* Blood_Drops reappears.
* Blood_Drops grabs Darius in a head lock...
Blood_Drops: You have no idea what power I have, Darius.
* Blood_Drops gives Darius a noogie.
DariusLongshore: You're nothing, Drops! You're relying on SAM. You can't fight me one-to-one! Look at me, I beat up my creator! I'm free! Join me!
DariusLongshore: Think of what we could do if we were *both* free from our shackles?
* Mousie likes the way Darius's very conniving.
Blood_Drops: Fine. I'll conquer him, and THEN I'll conquer you.
Sam: Um...
* Blood_Drops pickles Sam like a...uh, pickle.
* Sam dies.
RinkChat: User Sam has been labeled 'In Death's Realm' by Sam.
Blood_Drops: Ah ha!
* Brunnen_G is worried. What will happen if Darius and Blood Drops take over RinkWorks?
DariusLongshore: See, Drops? See how much better you feel now!
Blood_Drops: I feel LOTS better. No longer am I constrained by the strings of manipulation!
Blood_Drops: I will RULE THE WORLD!!! AH-HAHAHAAHAH!!!!! Wait, wait, what the heck -- I'm a goodguy.
* Sam , while in Death's Realm, sees if he can use the transporter-converter to get a Happy Meal.
DariusLongshore: Drops, you're only a good guy because SAM made you a good guy!
DariusLongshore: You can do whatever *you* want now, including being the bad guy!
Blood_Drops: Curse you, Darius, you put me under your mind-control spell.
Blood_Drops: You'll die for this.
Blood_Drops: Again.
DariusLongshore: No no, don't you see? You're *free*. Let us kick butt *together*.
* Blood_Drops skewers Darius in the left nostril, then wiggles his sword around.
Blood_Drops: Hmmm. You're not dying fast enough.
* Blood_Drops skewers Darius in the right nostril, then wiggles his sword around.
DariusLongshore: I fik ur buffig!
* Blood_Drops throws Darius on the ground and tromps on his funny bones.
* DariusLongshore sticks his sword right through Blood Drops' head.
* Blood_Drops recoils from the blow but yanks the sword out and threads Darius on it like a shish kebab.
DariusLongshore: No, Drops, you're missing the point entirely. Silly person.
Blood_Drops: Gah! Hold still!
* DariusLongshore swings on the chandelier, kicks Blood Drops, lands gracefully, and then utters a witty line.
GiggleHonkSis has entered.
DariusLongshore: NO!
Blood_Drops: NO!
Brunnen_G: That was a witty line? "No!"?
* GiggleHonkSis blows her nose on Blood Drops and Darius.
* Blood_Drops reels and flails about in muck.
* DariusLongshore dissolves in a pool of snotty acid.
* Blood_Drops suffocates in the mire.
RinkChat: User DariusLongshore has been kicked from the chat room by GiggleHonkSis.
RinkChat: User Blood_Drops has been kicked from the chat room by GiggleHonkSis.
Blood_Drops has left.
DariusLongshore has left.
* Sam chows down on Chicken McNuggets.
RinkChat: User Dave has been unlabeled by Dave.
RinkChat: User Sam has been unlabeled by Sam.
* Sam , who can do anything, resurrects himself and Dave.
* Dave shakes his head groggily and sits up.
Sam: Thank you, Gig, you've served your purpose.
RinkChat: User GiggleHonkSis has been kicked from the chat room by Sam.
GiggleHonkSis has left.
Dave: What the heck just happened?
Sam: Beats me. But I'm full.
Dave: Huh. I could have sworn Darius told me off then beat me up. But that *couldn't* have been what happened, right?
Sam: Why does my skin smell like pickles?
Dave: Eww. I don't know. And I've got *such* a headache.
DariusLongshore has entered.
DariusLongshore: Got some unfinished business here.
* DariusLongshore grabs Mousie, dips her low, and plants a big wet kiss on her pretty lips.
DariusLongshore: I always get the girl in the end, now.
DariusLongshore has left.
Dave: Hey!
Brunnen_G: Stylish exit, Darius.
Mousie: <Spit> Gasp! <Gag> Pbwhhhhh! NEXT TIME, ASK. And make sure I'm not drinking Gatorade.

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