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Restaurant Anecdotes:

I am English and drink hot tea as opposed to coffee. My husband and I visited a fast food restaurant in America, and I asked a waitress if they had any hot tea.

Once when I went to McDonald's, I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.

"You don't?" I replied.

"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.

"So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"

"That's right."

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

While ordering Chinese food to be delivered, I asked, as a joke, if the deep fried gizzards were beef or pork. The lady on the other end had me wait while she looked it up, but couldn't find it. She then asked several other employees, none of whom knew.

I overheard the following conversation at a Friendly's restaurant:

A pizza-and-sub takeout recently opened near me. When I got the menu, I decided that I would try the hamburger sub that was listed, so I called.

This went on a few times, until finally I asked for a cheeseburger sub without the cheese. He was happy to sell me that.

I used to work at an Arby's. In the two years I worked there, the dumbest customer by far has been one that apparently never succeeded at first grade math.

He handed me a $10 bill. Thinking that this was just a mistake, that maybe he meant to give me a $20, I said:

This situation kept on going for a good four or five minutes, when something really wrong happened. I just had him on the verge of giving me a $50 bill, when a manager changed the price to make it less than $10. After I told the customer that, he said:

I suppose the moral of the story is act dumb, even if you aren't, and rewards will follow.

One day, this lady brought in an Arby-Q sandwich because she didn't like it and she wanted her money back. That would be fine if it weren't for the fact that my Arby's stopped selling those a month ago, and that the sandwich was black and moldy. It was one of the grossest things I have ever seen in my life.

This happened at a local fried chicken shack.

This has happened to me with two different people now.

I had a craving for french fries one day, so I pulled up to the drive-thru of McDonald's.

I got sort of confused at this one and told him no. He told me to pull ahead, so I did, and then he asked me why I was sitting there.

Since saying no the last time had gotten me nothing, I figured I'd better say yes this time.

He gave me two large fries.

I went to a McDonald's in New York. My girlfriend and I didn't know what we wanted ahead of time, but when we got there we saw a sign for a special: "2 Big Macs, 2 large fries, and 2 drinks for $7.99."

She rung up the order, and it came to around $12.

The manager came over, and I was convinced I would be eating shortly.

The manager read the sign out loud, very slowly.

We left, walked about five blocks to the next McDonald's. I ordered the same special without a problem.

When I was in college, a couple of my friends and I went to a small town restaurant for a bite to eat one evening. I was in the mood for a ham and cheese omelette. Looking at the menu, there was a ham omelette listed and a cheese omelette listed, but no combination. So when the waitress came for the order, I asked about the combination.

She left and returned a minute later.

I used to work at a Subway restaurant, and I found this happening quite often:

So I start putting cheese on the bread.

So I start putting vegetables on the bread.

Whenever I go to my local Subway, I find I constantly get either ingredients on my sub I didn't ask for, or a sub missing some ingredients I did ask for. I'm not that picky, so one day when I was in a rush I asked for a 6-inch meat-lovers with everything.

This went on for every ingredient, getting more annoying with each step, until we reached the salt and pepper.

Salt goes on anyway.

No pepper.

Finally the sub's rung up, and I rush out of the store. Half an hour later, start eating the sub and notice there's no meat on my meat-lover sub.

The scene is a mostly takeout sandwich shop kind of like Subway. Your order is taken at the counter, and the sandwich is made while you watch. It is difficult for an order to get messed up unless neither party is paying attention. While I admit that from time to time I mumble, and, having been raised in the South, my drawl is not understandable by some, I generally have no trouble communicating with the vast majority of people that I speak with.

So you can imagine my surprise and consternation when, one afternoon:

Note that, at this point, the other customers at the counter are visibly amused, one even chuckling out loud. I look at them, and get "What a moron!" looks from them, so I know it's not just me. The other clerks appear curious about why a customer is raising his voice, but they still appear unaware that anything odd is going on.

When I get out to the car, my wife and daughter are curious why it took so long. They are the first to hear the story but not the last.

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