This is a collection of quotes from letters sent to a landlord from his tenants.

• "I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall."
• "In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope."
• "This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door."
• "The toilet seat is cracked. Where do I stand?"
• "I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."
• "Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."
• "Can you please tell me when our repairs are going to be done as my wife is about to become an expectant mother."
• "The toilet is blocked, and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared."
• "Will you please send someone to mend our broken path. Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant."