> > More freaky RinkWorks coincidences: symmetrical hair partings as bad? Earlier today I went into a bank and the girl behind the counter had parted her hair in ZIGZAGS from front to back. It must have taken ages. It looked great. I was fascinated.
> >
> > Brunnen-"was afraid of appearing weird if I asked how she did that"G
>
> My hair refuses to part evenly. When it does part in a straight line, it isn't in the middle. I've always envied people who could part it in the middle in a straight line.
>
> -Dr. Morris Cecil "I propose life without bail for those people" Glalet, Th.D.
> Fri 3 Dec A.D. 1999

Don't feel too bad about it, Morris. You see technically, hair on the human head isn't supposed to be parted in a straight line. To maximize the efficiency of hair coverage over a round object, your hair follicules are naturally oriented along a "swirly" pattern originating from a crown region near the top of your head. (Some folks have not one but *two* swirly crown patterns in their hair...poor souls.) So trying to make a part where your hair doesn't want to be is sort of like going against the grain, so to speak.

Of course, there's a perfectly straightforward and tidy solution to such a ridiculously simple problem like MEN'S HAIR PARTINGS. Besides getting scalped, that is. All you have to do is shave yourself a 2-inch wide bald strip from the center of your forehead all the way down to the nape of your neck. A sort of Reverse Mohawk, if you will. Then you won't have to *ever* worry again about your straight hair-part going off and flopping *embarrassingly* in the wrong direction, when you straighten up from a drink at the water fountain. Plus, you'd be a blazing trend-setter. It also handily negates any early evidence of premature male pattern baldness. Who says stylistic coiffeurage can't be ultra-practical as well as chic?

Wolfspirit