Love I love you like Lucy loves Ricky I love you like Ethel hates Fred If love were toxic radiation poisoning Then baby, we would both be dead I love you like Galileo loved the stars I love you like Streisand loves herself For you are like a giant up-to-the-minute dictionary And I am your bookshelf We go together like coffee and cream Like pickles and peanut butter pie For you are like a giant love-filled contact lens And I am like the eye I love you like a walrus loves its tusks I love you like a tailor loves a dress For you are like the buttons on a TV remote control That I do love to press I love you like popcorn loves butter I love you like grape juice loves the cup For you are like the grain that the farmer strews about And I am the sheep who gobbles you up I love you like a hacker loves his keyboard I love you like leather hates the rain For you are like that weird gunk that the brain floats in inside the skull And I am like the brain I love you like a staple loves the paper I love you like ice cream loves a cone For your voice is like the lady you hear when the phone gets knocked off the hook And I am like the phone I love you like a vegetarian loves tofu I love you like a sailor loves the sea For you are like a brand-new high-tech DVD player And I'm like the TV I love you like Burton loved Taylor I love you like Homer loves Marge For you are like a giant festering pile of moldy garbage And I am like the barge I love you like a kid loves an Etch-A-Sketch I love you like the moon loves the Earth For you are a beautiful kitten who was just born And I'm the afterbirth I love you Love love love It rhymes with shove And glove And above And dove I shove you I mean I glove you I mean I'm above you I mean I'm a dove, you I mean I love you Eric McGill