February 3, 2001

RinkChat, CA - Everyone on the entire face of the Earth is talking about the RinkAwards. Some love them and have many positive things to say. "I think it's a neat idea and that Sam's done a great job setting it all up and that it should be fun," said flyingcats, a RinkChat regular. However, she added, "I hope the whole thing doesn't get messy."

The RinkAwards are not all fun and games for everyone, though. There are many intense rivalries going on behind the scenes. PacMan has been quoted as saying, "LIFACE = SUCKS," while Morris Cecil Glalet has refused to vote for Eric Sleator. It is rumored that Kim Basinger, Barbra Streisand, and Rosie O'Donnell have vowed to leave the Internet forever if Stephen wins Best Male Comic Conversationalist.

But not everyone thinks about the RinkAwards all the time. For a few, other things are more important. Noted regular folex, for example, had a thought unrelated to the RinkAwards a week and a half ago. "Is it possible to get sick from gum?" he asked. "It tastes like there's a party in my mouth, and everyone is throwing up."

With the furor of interest in the RinkAwards, some shrewd companies have already begun to consider possible advertising opportunities. Unfortunately, RinkAwards coordinator Samuel Stoddard, while calling sponsorship a "very good thing," has also declined to comment on which companies may have been signed, saying, "Our relationship or lack of relationship with corporate sponsors as of this time is confidential at the moment, so I cannot confirm or deny."

When asked about the rumors of the American Broccoli Association encouraging a boycott of the awards program, Stoddard said, "As of this time, we have not received any correspondence from the American Broccoli Association to indicate one way or the other. Naturally if they do have a complaint, we would be willing to listen." He then said, off the record, "EAT FLAMING DEATH COMMIE BROCCOLI FASCISTS!!!!!"

As a side note, rumors that Chip Buttie will be hosting the awards ceremony have not been confirmed.