January 26, 2001

RinkChat, NH - The upcoming RinkAwards show, to be held sometime in late March, will not feature broccoli as a sanctioned component of the ceremony, an official announcement said Friday. The news angered vegetarians and broccoli farmers, who responded to the announcement with cries of discrimination.

Samuel Stoddard, the founder of the RinkAwards, responded to protests in a formal statement given to the press. "Neither I nor anyone else at the RinkAwards wish to promote prejudice against broccoli," he said. "We just don't feel an awards ceremony is an appropriate forum in which to promote the broccoli agenda." He later added, "The show will be long enough already without catering to vegetables."

Morris Cecil Glalet, eligible for several RinkAwards, sharply criticized Stoddard's defense. "I'm shocked and dismayed," Glalet said. "The RinkAwards have long been a gathering place for broccoli enthusiasts. The Vegetable Civil Liberties Union is not going to take this lying down!"

Glalet then expressed his personal disappointment in RinkChat's administration. "I'm disappointed in Sam, too. Normally he does all he can to bring about unity and togetherness. This discrimination against broccoli goes against the spirit of RinkWorks."

Others were disturbed but more diplomatic. "My main concern is that, in not promoting vegetables, the RinkAwards may instead cater to fruits," said RinkChat regular Ellmyruh, adding, "Or, worse yet, fruitcakes."

Some broccoli lovers, however, approve of the exclusion. "It's probably best that way," Ayako Kiyomizu of California said. "Broccoli is served cooked far too often. . . . If it were [featured at the RinkAwards], it would probably be cooked." Kiyomizu then added, "Such a travesty is best avoided." Kiyomizu is eligible for a number of RinkAwards.

Others view Friday's announcement as an opportunity. While the announcement precludes the involvement of broccoli in any of the official proceedings, the door is left open for guests of the ceremony to infuse broccoli into the ceremony unofficially. When Stoddard was questioned about the possibility, he simply said, "Guests of the RinkAwards ceremony of course may participate in the manner of their own choosing." He declined to comment further.