The War of the Roses Directed by Danny DeVito 1989 Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard (Michael and Kathleen Turner MEET. Then they fall in LOVE. Then they get MARRIED. Then they FIGHT. They throw DISHES and FURNITURE and FISH and DOGS and TREES and CARS and CHANDELIERS at each other.) Danny DeVito The moral of this story is, if you get married, you'll DIE. THE END