(1) I got into Manchester airport at like 5:45 p.m. Friday night and was greeted by Mia who was sitting down so I couldn't recognize her (I was looking for a tiny person, and I couldn't tell how tall she wasn't). She is, of course, far better than anyone reading this, you bunch of friggin' losers.

(2) We got back to the hotel, met some people whose names I didn't catch (I think one of them was "Sammy" and there was a "Marlene" and some other people). Then Mousie showed up in her totally fly Buick rental car. Those stupid people we met told us to leave, so Mia and I hopped into Mousie's sweet ride and hit the road to Boston, City of the Future.

(3) Nothing happened in Boston. We didn't get lost once, parking was abundant and the other drivers were cautious and respectful. We saw historical stuff. Ask for no further details and everything shall be fine.

Aside: Mousie is EXACTLY like she is in chat. She's very outgoing and funny, and she has an AWESOME habit of talking to total strangers. She also never shut up for the entire night.

(4) Dave's plane got in at 1 a.m., and we took the hour-plus drive back to Manchester. Dave and I were sharing a room, and for some reason we stayed up until about 6:30 a.m. talking to each other. You see, we were both afraid the other would try to kill the one that fell asleep first. We got up at 7:30 a.m. feeling TOTALLY refreshed. One hour of sleep is a ton!

Aside: Dave is a total dork, and I hate him WAY more now that I've shared a room with him. He pushed Mia over one time, on purpose, and for that he will die (he's only like five times her size).

(5) Dave and I sort of stumbled down at 8 a.m., sought coffee, and zoned out for a bit while people did stuff. Rivikah showed up looking NOTHING like her picture. At first I thought she was somebody looking for the free breakfast at the hotel who had wandered into the wrong room. I didn't recognize Ticia either, but that's because she's a shapeshifter.

Other people showed up too, but I don't really remember them because I hated everyone there. Anyone who claims that I'm actually a nice guy in person is lying, by the way.

(6) We did a bunch of weird stuff until Officer Darien and Mina showed up, several hours late. Then we went out to lunch, just us cool people (Darien, Mina, Mia, Mousie, Rivikah, Dave and I [if I forgot anyone else it's because I hate you]). Those other losers like "Sam" showed up later and tried to talk to us, but we were all, "Uh, don't be gaying up our show here, wusses."

(7) There was a bunch of cool stuff that I'll let others elaborate on, such as Sinbad and Dave's movie review. The best thing was when Darien, Dave and I sang Monty Python's "Bruce's Philosophers Song." It was excellent, except those two white boys got no rhythm and messed it up. Also, "Sam" read something from K. It was cool.

(8) Darien and Mina stayed with Dave and me. Darien kept me up late with his incessant chatter. I hate him.

(9) The next day we rode in a big van consisting solely of HARDCORE people: Mousie, Jacqueline (aka Mrs. Iss), Issachar, Mr. and Mrs. Grishny, Mr. and Mrs. Pas, Mia, Darien, Mina, Ayako, Matthew, and myself. We spent the trip talking bad about the people in the other van. At least I did.

(10) The hardest of the hardcore people (Darien, Mina, Mia, and I) 0wn3d these l33t caves. We did them all, and I got battle scars. Mr. and Mrs. Faux Pas claimed to have done them too, but I didn't see them so they're probably lying. They're pretty hardcore, disirregardless.

(11) Some of us then went and 0wn3d this river thing and some bus guy got all pissed off at us. We sharted "w3 0wn j00!" at him and all the other non-hardcore people. It was l33t.

(12) We went out to dinner at Newick's where I proceeded to NOT eat seafood because it sucks. Then afterwards people got all wussy and mushy and tried to hug me, and I let them, but really I was just feeling for where their kidneys were so it'll be easier to stab them. I was like totally not hugging people to be nice. That's a lie.

(13) The hotel room situation was the same as the night before, only this time we added Mia, sleeping on a cot, into the mix. Dave, Darien, and I spent some time just shouting, "EAT CRUD! BURN!" for no reason other than we were wicked tired. Those guys are so stupid.

(14) I'm so sick of writing this I'm going to stop. I went home the next day, and here I am. The end.

Ste "It's a hip-hop thang -- just bidness in da hood" phen