This contest ran from 10/4/99 to 10/12/99.

The winner and first runner up are awarded a brand spanking new official RinkWorks ball point pen each. The winner is also awarded, in addition, a shape tracing thingy.

A bonus prize of a RinkWorks pen is awarded to one entrant who had three of his entries as finalists.

Come up with a motto that fits the spirit of the RinkWorks site that could theoretically be adopted as the site's official motto. (We do not actually expect to adopt any contest entries as RinkWorks' official motto, but we do reserve the right to do so with any contest entry.)

Again, the judging was difficult. For those who are not aware, this contest actually has its roots in one of the Message Forum's earliest threads. And, in fact, the winner I chose turned out to be one from that thread that was submitted to the contest by its author. Nonetheless, I loved seeing what people came up with and enjoyed the influx of extremely creative submissions.

In addition to the usual prizes for the winner and first runner up, I've decided to award a bonus prize (a RinkWorks pen, of course) to the one who had as many as three of his ten entertaining entries in the final round of judging.

And the winning entries are:

• Winner: "RinkWorks: We Don't StinkWorks." -- Stephen K.

• Runner Up: "RinkWorks: 'nkWor' is our middle name." -- Morris C. G.

Special recognition goes to:

• Finalist: "Lather. Rinse. RinkWorks." -- "Balanthalus"

• Finalist: "Visit us, or Dave gets it." -- "Balanthalus"

• Finalist: "The perfect style with a great taste to save the world." -- "Balanthalus"

• Finalist: "RinkWorks: Better than you." -- "Zarkon"

• Honorable Mention: "Not just for cynics anymore." -- Jeff B.

• Honorable Mention: Risi satis. ("It's enough for those who laugh.") -- "Wolfspirit"

• Honorable Mention: Sapientia leves terras irradumus. ("We irradiate the Earth with silliness.") -- "Wolfspirit"

The remaining entries, alphabetized by author (first name or nickname), follow:

• "RinkWorks: You wish you could be as funny as this." -- A. J.

• "RinkWorks: We're the one that begins with an 'R!'" -- "Balanthalus"

• "Think of us as playboy.com without the pictures." -- "Balanthalus"

• "RinkWorks.com: Because every other site is indirectly owned by Microsoft." -- "Balanthalus"

• "Now with 20% fewer pixels!" -- "Balanthalus"

• "Visit RinkWorks and I'll be your best friend! Honest!" -- "Balanthalus"

• "Mo' fun than a pile o' sweet patootees, cuss it all t' tarnation." -- "Balanthalus"

• "Surgeon General's Warning: Quitting RinkWorks now greatly increases your risk of getting a life." -- "Balanthalus"

• "We're the best. Get over it." -- Benny M.

• "Abandon hope all ye who enter here." -- Cathryn

• "RinkWorks: Mind the Salmon Mousse On Your Way Out." -- David G.

• "Something for everyo...uh, To protect and to...ummm, Over one billion serv.... What was the question again?" -- "Dracimas"

• "RinkWorks: It's the most working rink that you'll find." -- "El Baberino"

• "If the shoe fits, wear it." -- "EVKis"

• "Because 5.4 million lemmings can't all be wrong." -- Ezra M.

• "RinkWorks: Home of Flemish Model Horses." -- "Faux Pas"

• "RinkWorks: For when the Ritalin runs out." -- "Faux Pas"

• "RinkWorks: It's almost all text so it loads faster." -- "Faux Pas"

• "RinkWorks: More fun than toilet papering someone's house. Nicer, too." -- "Faux Pas"

• "RinkWorks: Where Faux Pas likes to visit." -- "Faux Pas"

• "Rinkwo 'Where quotes are inside words' rks" -- "Faux Pas"

• "I said RinkWorks, not StinkWorks." -- Jed J.

• "When you run out of Prozac, there's RinkWorks." -- Jeff B.

• "Mindless fluff? I think not." -- Jeff B.

• "More fun than a wet sock!" -- Jeff B.

• "Think quirks." -- Jeff B.

• "RinkWorks: Now with more meat-like substance." -- Jeff B.

• "RinkWorks: Thinkin' man's drivel." -- Jeff B.

• "It's NETrageous!!" -- Jeff B.

• "Who needs a splash page?!!" -- Jeff B.

• "Win a contest, get a pen!!" -- Jeff B.

• "Not just for cynics anymore." -- Jeff B.

• "Feel good about yourself again." -- Jeff B.

• "Laugh your self silly and play with little gidgets and gadgets and the best collection of internet toys on the web -- found only at RinkWorks." -- Joe K.

• "Got RinkWorks?" -- Joe S.

• "RinkWorks: Useless crap -- but damn funny useless crap!" -- Joel C.

• "Ask about our motto contest!" -- Joseph A. C.

• "Motto? We don't need no stinking motto." -- Joseph A. C.

• "More virgin sacrifices than any other site, guaranteed." -- Joseph A. C.

• "Our motto is a closely guarded secret; if we told you, we'd have to kill you." -- Joseph A. C.

• "Give me all your money." -- Joseph A. C.

• "Mottos are for girly men." -- Joseph A. C.

• "RinkWorks: We think so you don't have to." -- Kara W.

• "RinkWorks: The last web page. Period." -- Kara W.

• "RinkWorks: Everything you ever wanted in a web page and forgot to ask for." -- Kara W.

• "RinkWorks: Webpage-a-Minute." -- Kara W.

• "Best when served warm." -- Kelly K.

• "For all your humor needs, even those you didn't know you had." -- Kelly K.

• "Motto? I got yer stinkin' motto right here!" -- Kelly K.

• "Twice the fun, half the fat." -- Kelly K.

• "Reality is not a necessity, yet simply a home for the part of the population who can't find anywhere better to live. RinkWorks is for the rest of us. And those who couldn't pay realities rent." -- "Loco Burrito the 3rd"

• "We're here for you and a dog named Boo." -- "Madula"

• "Not SinkWorks, RinkWorks!"" -- "Madula"

• "We love you too, sweetheart." -- "Madula"

• "It's not just you." -- "Madula"

• "RinkWorks: Home of the Rinkfeld Follies!" -- "MarkusRTK"

• "RinkWorks: Fun, Facts, and Felafel!" -- "MarkusRTK"

• "On your mark, get set, laugh." -- "MarlinY2K"

• "If you give a man a fire, you keep him warm for a day. If you light that man on fire, you keep him warm for the rest of his life." -- Matt H.

• "If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. But, if you kill that man, you can have all the fish for yourself." -- Matt H.

• "Our page has no purpose whatsoever." -- Matthew N.

• "RinkWorks: Almost as addictive as pure nicotine." -- Morris C. G.

• "RinkWorks: A more fun way to waste your precious time." -- Morris C. G.

• "RinkWorks: Just like those other webpages, except without smut, sports, or search capabilities." -- Morris C. G.

• "RinkWorks: The most important webpage since 'Jimmy's Page O' Cheez Whiz'." -- Morris C. G.

• "RinkWorks: All our biggest fans have severe psychological defects, but it's just a coincidence." -- Morris C. G.

• "RinkWorks: Won't wear down your computer's speakers!" -- Morris C. G.

• "RinkWorks: More fun than un-anesthesized facial electroshock therapy." -- Morris C. G.

• "RinkWorks: Funnier than a rock." -- Morris C. G.

• "RinkWorks: Weird contests and weirder features, all under one roof." -- Morris C. G.

• "Forget the shrink...RinkWorks!" -- Oyvind W.

• "RinkWorks: When you've got nothing better to do on the net." -- Paul L. and Robyn L.

• "Humor, American style." -- Stephen J.

• "Humor for the humor-impaired." -- Stephen J.

• "RinkWorks: Rated #1 by Supreme Dictators Everywhere." -- Stephen K.

• "RinkWorks: Hey, we've got a message forum that doesn't suck!" -- Stephen K.

• "RinkWorks: Movies, Games, and Free Crap with our logo on it!" -- Stephen K.

• "RinkWorks: More fun than a barrel full of grasshoppers!" -- Stephen K.

• "RinkWorks: The site that made the mistake of letting a reader come up with the motto." -- Stephen K.

• Alit volat propriis: non sibi sed omnibus ("It flies with its own wings: not just for self, but for all.") -- "Wolfspirit"

• Ubicumque is, ibi es ("Wherever you go, there you are [on Rinkworks].") -- "Wolfspirit"

• Arbor plena allouattarum ("A tree full of howler monkeys.") -- "Wolfspirit"

• S'enquérir de notre concours de devise! ("Ask about our site motto contest!") -- "Wolfspirit"

• "RinkWorks: The place that doesn't care about mottos." -- "Wren"

• "Helping making your writing not suck." -- "Wren"

• "We're livin la vida loca through our words." -- "Wren"

• "And you thought humor was funny!" -- "Wren"

• "Just when you actually thought you found a good page, we came along." -- "Wren"

• "Books suck, movies suck, YOU suck." -- "Wren"

• "A play on worlds." -- "Yank"

• "Now with Flav-O-Seal." -- "Yank"

• "Bomis? ...Err, no, can't say I've heard of it..." -- "Yank"

• "110%? More like 78%, really." -- "Yank"

• "Bagels? We don't want no stinkin' bagels!" -- "Yank"

• "RinkWorks: Because we've got knives." -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: The longest flame in Internet history." -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: It's not what's for dinner, but we like it anyway." -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: Home of that spooky hoodoo." -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: Thousands of geeky teenagers can't be wrong." -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: Darien's personal message board." -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: It's all about the packet loss, baby." -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: Host to the most obscure FAQs on the net." -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: One million megabytes!" -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: Why ask why?" -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: It brings your ancestors back from the dead." -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: Where else can you find six reviews of Sinbad of the Seven Seas?" -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: For folks who just don't like to wear pants." -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: Watching bad movies so you don't have to." -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: It's in me brains! ME BRAINS!" -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: What the hell does this name mean, anyway?" -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: We put the 'Z' in 'bad jokez'." -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: Much cooler than your Aunt Ida." -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: Less filling! Tastes great! Choice hops! Smooth!" -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: Because we got really bored one day." -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: If you've read this many of my mottos, you're as crazy as I am." -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: No, really." -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: You do realize I was finished several lines back, right?" -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: Why are you still reading this? Go away." -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: They just keep hounding me!" -- "Zarkon"

• "RinkWorks: AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGH!" -- "Zarkon"

The following suggested mottos were contributed to the original message forum thread on the subject but were not resubmitted for this contest:

• "Skrowknir: Think Differently." -- John W.

• "We've Got Some Web Pages." -- John W.

• "RinkWorks: We Didn't Mean That Literally." -- "scArA"

• "RinkWorks: We've Got Grasshoppers." -- Stephen K.

• "RinkWorks: Movie Reviews, Games, and a Whole Lotta Nude Photos of Real Live People" (for the search engines, of course) -- Stephen K.

• "RinkWorks: Our Message Board Is More Diverse Than Yours!" -- Stephen K.

• "Rink 'No Slogan Here' Works" -- Stephen K.

• "We take oddness and irrelevance to new heights." -- Erica

• "Elpoep detsiwt rof romuh detsiwt :skroWkniR" -- "Trillian"

• "RinkWorks: ASCII Excitement." -- Paul F.