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Book-A-Minute Classics


King Lear

By William Shakespeare

Ultra-Condensed by Lee Daniel Crocker and Samuel Stoddard


King Lear
I am senile and old. Flatter me, and I'll write my will.
Regan and Goneril
Daddy, you are way the oh too awesome bomb. We would totally not ever, like, backstab you and take your land.
Cordelia
Dad, if you believe that, you're a fool.
Fool
I can dance. Bye.
King Lear
I give everything to the suck-ups.
Regan and Goneril
We're in charge now, pops. Go away and go insane.
Everyone
(dies)



THE END


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