Jane Eyre
By Charlotte Bronte
Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard
(People are MEAN to Jane Eyre.)
Edward Rochester
I have a dark secret. Will you stay with me no matter what?
Jane Eyre
Yes.
Edward Rochester
My secret is that I have a lunatic wife.
Jane Eyre
Bye.
(Jane Eyre leaves. Somebody dies. Jane Eyre returns.)
THE END
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