Bernie is dead. This fact should be obvious to everyone who comes near him at all. However, this entire movie is based on the fact that everyone who comes near Bernie has the brains of a Furby without the voice chip, and they do not notice that he is, in fact, dead. After a while, I began to want to shake the characters by their shoulders and scream at the top of my lungs: "Wake the hell up!" Unfortunately, doing this would have required that I enter the world of the movie, which, quite frankly, I would consider to be a fate worse than death, if not for the fact that I would then be able to walk off with the entire world's supply of money without anyone noticing.

The miraculous thing about this movie is that the two main characters, who are determined to make it appear that Bernie is alive (I forget why -- it didn't matter) actually realized that he was dead when he keeled over and failed to register a pulse. Since they are the two stupidest people in the movie, it is extremely surprising that they managed to come to the correct conclusion. Maybe that's why they went around telling people that he was "on vacation." Quite frankly, I think the actor playing Bernie should have gone on vacation, because a more thankless job than playing a corpse in an entire feature is difficult to imagine.

Response From RinkWorks:

Here's a thought -- if the two guys who drag Bernie around are the stupidist ones in the movie, then maybe they were *wrong* about Bernie's condition. Maybe he was actually *alive*, and they were the idiots. That actually makes more sense than assuming that the rest of the Earth's population are morons.