Futuresport comes from that long line of movies that I've deemed to call "B+". Usually done with a decent budget, a recognizable cast, and some production values. But there's some element that just says, "We made this as a throw-away, so NYAH!"

The cast of Futuresport isn't really a low spot. It stars Dean "I'm SUPERMAN!" Cain, Vanessa "Perfect Eyes" Williams, Wesley "Always Bet on Black" Snipes...and the father from "Life Goes On." The budget looks ok, as there are some rather elaborate sets and a few decent effects shots. The movie is likable, yet at the same time, it's REALLY REALLY laughable, and that lies almost entirely on the shoulders of the script. And oh, what a script it is.

Futuresport, as the title suggests, is about the Sport of the Future. Which is called Futuresport, even though it's obviously played in the film's present. Go figure. It's 2025, and Futuresport has taken the world by storm. The game itself is some sort of cross between basketball, Roller Derby, hockey, and Marty McFly's hoverboard. Cain plays (not surprisingly) the current hotshot of the Futuresport pro league, "Pharaoh" Ramsey -- who is Hawaiian, not Egyptian, just in case you're wondering. Williams plays his former-and-future love interest, a spunky reporter (is there any other kind?). Snipes gets to sport some cool white-boy dreads, some nice shades, and a really goofy Jamaican accent in his role of FutureSport's inventor, seeming crime kingpin, and guardian of a low-income neighborhood called "The Downzone." While all three are mostly entertaining to watch, that darn plot comes in again.

You see...the main villain of the movie seems to be...the Hawaiian Liberation Army. Yep, Hawaii has risen in armed rebellion. Actually, it seems like twelve guys and a girl just decided to "liberate" Hawaii one weekend on a dare, led by a guy with a name I can't remember who has an elaborate pen drawing that roughly resembles a tattoo all over his face. You get an idea of the grand scope of their plans after you see their training course in the middle of the movie. Oi vey. :)

Early on in the movie, the HLA targets Cain and Williams for assassination, since Cain is a traitor to his people and Williams ratted on them. Or something. You never really learn what either of them did to tee the HLA off so much. The HLA tries to kill them both before a big game but gets defeated by a few of Cain's team mates who just happened to have been packing some Futuresport equipment with them. From there on, the plot degenerates into a mixture of every cheap future and sports movie you've ever seen. Cain loses the championship game because of personal glory, the HLA attack Hawaii some more, it's revealed that the HLA is sponsored by the League of Pacific Nations (with most of Asia and Australia), and to prevent a war...Cain proposes a game of Futuresport to decide the ownership of the Aloha State.

The Pacific team is made of brutal all-stars (which, of course, has some of Cain's old team as well), while Cain picks a group of uncooperative people with talent as his team, which he has to whip into shape after the coach dies (of course). Williams is kidnapped, Snipes switches alliances three or four times, the team pulls together to free her, the game goes on, the good guys win because Cain gets past his glory hogging, they all learn a lesson, and hey, let's play some FUTURESPORT!

Yes, the plot just plain bites. :) But Snipes and Cain are both fun to watch in their respective roles, and there are a few other stand-out characters, like the offensive lead "Mayhem" Mayhews, a grouse that's COMPLETELY unlovable, even after he does the "big lug who really cares" act. Also of note is Anarchy, the tech-nerd-punk-otaku equipment manager lady who manages to be every geeky role in the film all at once.

There is some "future" stuff here that makes me giggle. One point that had my group laughing was that people in this movie had seemingly random junk stuck on their bodies. I guess they were trying to go for a cybernetic look, but most of it just looked like random "stuff." A good example being Cain's female Asian teammate/opponent (played by the Evil Chick from "The Crow") who had a black plastic...things over her left eye. All the cameramen also had their cameras grafted into their heads for no good reason. Also, people of the future USA use random Japanese words like an anime otaku, including "ronin," "baka," "ne," "bushido," etc. And everyone is concerned with their PI (Popularity Index) rating, an ANNOYING plot device that just comes up over and over and over again until you want to pluck your eyeballs out. But please don't; it's only a movie :)

One other thing of note: Although there are a couple of breasts and cuss words in this movie, it plays almost exactly like a made-for-TV movie. There are some obvious "cut to commercial" editing jobs in here, as a scene will just abruptly switch to another scene with no transition at all.

I watched this with a few friends and had a ball calling the next contrived scene. Probably not one to watch alone, although it's enjoyable in a bad movie sort of way.

Turkey rating: Three Gobblers with a group. Two otherwise.

Scene to watch for: The HLA's "training camp." Ha!

Best line: "Dead men don't earn da da!" Also Becker's butchered Englo-German take on "All that glitters isn't gold."

Things that make you go "Huh?": Hawaiian Liberation Army? Why Futuresport has a goalie, when we only ever see one blocked shot? And why is Cain's High-PI girlfriend so...unattractive?

Response From RinkWorks:

Actually this *is* a made-for-TV movie, specifically for premium cable, which is why it has harsher content than most made-for-TV movies.