Ahh, it's May! And you know what that means! Sweeps month! Lots of bad (NBC) TV movies. This topped them all. Even "Merlin" (last year) couldn't match this.

So the basic premise is: there is a flood. Noah must build a boat and put animals on it. Ok. That's easy. Well, I suppose it wasn't.

Some highlights:

Sodom and Gomorrah being destroyed by meteors. (Before the flood.) What!? What?! Didn't that come after the flood? I'm no biblical scholar, but even I know that!

Lot and Lot's wife. Aparently, Lot wasn't Abraham's nephew after all. He was Noah's best pal.

Noah and his wife discussing the demise of Sodom. "By the time [the scribes] are done with it, they'll make it out so we weren't even there." Oh. So that was supposed to make up for the differences between the Bible and the movie. But wait! Didn't *they* breed the remainder of humanity after the flood? Why didn't they have it recorded correctly then? Sheesh.

Taking aboard two male peacocks. Hello? Maybe the producers were braindead.

Taking aboard mules, donkeys, ponies, and horses. Weren't mules, donkeys, and ponies all descended from horses? At least ponies were. (For any equine challenged who may see this, a pony is not a baby horse. It is a horse that at full size is 14 hands high or less.)

God. Why is God such a smarmy git (smug jerk) in this movie?

Noah winning God's heart over by dancing around like a madman. (You've gotta see it to believe it.)

Crashing once, not breaking the hull. The second, weaker crash did the job.

The peddler. The peddler has no real meaning to the story -- he was just thrown in for the heck of it.

Response From RinkWorks:

"Why didn't they have it recorded correctly then?" you ask. This stupidity is compounded by the movie's final shot, in which Noah is doing just that. -- Sam.

I'm no expert, but I know either one or the other of donkeys and mules (and possibly both) are sterile. So it would be pretty stupid to bring sterile creatures aboard the Ark. Wow, what a convoluted sentence that was. -- Dave.

I asked my wife, the local equine scientist. Horses and ponies are the same species. Donkeys are different. Mules are the offspring of a male donkey and a female horse and are "usually" sterile. (Hinnies are the offspring of a male horse and a female donkey.) So basically only a pair of horses and a pair of donkeys were needed on the ark. -- Sam.