More timely now than ever as we enter millennial madness, this turkey is my favorite bad movie of all time. Starring Sylvestor Stallone as "Machine Gun" Joe Viterbo and David Carradine as his arch-rival "Frankenstein," Death Race 2000 tells the story of one possible future, this one envisioned in the 70s. Viterbo and Frankenstein, and other rival drivers, are all competing in the greatest televised spectacle of all time. The drivers must race across the country and receive points not only for arriving the fastest but also for the number of people they can kill along the way. Each driver takes a different route and attempts to rack up as many kills as possible, while announcers analyze their techniques. ("A great kill. A clean kill. A neat kill.") Frankenstein is the people's favorite and has won more races than any other racer, but he is an imposter and disillusioned with the sport. Machine Gun Joe is brash and, as this is pre-Rocky Sylvester Stallone, hilarious and painful. (My favorite Machine Gun Joe line is directed at his girlfriend/navigator: "Some people may think you're funny, but I think you're one very large baked potato.") A movie unlike any other, Death Race 2000, once viewed, will not be forgotten. This low-budget cult classic will have viewers paying late fees, as they'll want to keep the rental an extra day to watch it again.

Response From RinkWorks:

Has David Carradine *ever* made a movie that wasn't bad enough for this page?