Wow. They really DON'T make them like they used to. This movie exceeds even the stupendous badness of the series, and that's saying something! The plot (the term is used oh so very loosely) is that four supervillains -- Catwoman, the Riddler, the Joker, and the Penguin -- are at large and hell-bent on turning the U.N into dust because...well, I'm sure they have their reasons.

It is worth pointing out that the U.N ambassadors are mentally deficient. Seriously -- they sit in a room arguing in different languages ALL THE TIME. They don't notice when one by one each man is turned to dust, even when the last man is left arguing with...dust. Then when they're turned back from dust, they don't notice that their bodies have been swapped and that Batman, Robin, and most of the police force are in the room with them.

Other high points:

- Batman -- dangling from a ladder which is dangling from a helicopter -- with a plastic shark clamped to his leg for about five minutes until they get some handy shark repellent.

- The shark has a bomb in it. Yes, a bomb. In a shark.

- They wonder who planted this diabolical aquatic device of doom the exchange goes something like this:

Batman: "It was a fish-like creature. It may have been the penguin."

Robin: "The only one capable of such mean tricks is the Joker, surely!"

Batman: "This sure is a riddle....... The Riddler!!"

Robin: "It happened at sea...sea, cee for Catwoman!!"

- The badguys try to kill the dynamic duo again by sending Catwoman as a Russian reporter to seduce Bruce Wayne, then get kidnapped, luring Batman to the lair in a rescue attempt. Their plan is to have a spring board ready in their lair so when Batman steps on it, he is propelled out an open window onto an octopus.

- An octopus rigged with a bomb. Yes, a bomb. In an octopus.

- Needless to say, a goon gets the octopus treatment instead of Batman. Frustrated, the four criminal "masterminds" get fed up and decide to try a more practical murder technique and get a really big bomb (not inside a creature this time) and leave it to be found by Batman. He finds it and runs around the harbor trying to get rid of it. Of course the harbor is crowded so he ends up running around with a bomb for five minutes, being seemingly chased by a brass band, till he throws it somewhere with no living creatures, not even ducks, so nothing is hurt. This is one of the funniest things I have ever seen ANYWHERE.

- The bomb, by the way, has a fuse that lasts about five minutes.

- Penguin shows up, asks to be taken to the Batcave. They know it's the Penguin but take him anyway. Why not catch him or arrest him or put a bomb in him? But no, they decide it would be clever to pay RIGHT INTO HIS HANDS.

- Penguin has a device to dehydrate men to dust. Then, when water is added, they are back to normal. He has several goons in dust form in his pocket. He gases Batman and Robin on the way to the cave, apparently now knowing where their SECRET lair is, but our heroes knew all along and so had taken anti-Penguin gas pills. They hop on the Batbike five feet away from where they were dumped and mosey on down to the cave.

- During the climactic showdown on a submarine, Batman and Robin fight the crew and villains, win, and find out that the Russian chick with the dodgy accent is really Catwoman. Gasp! This shocks Batman so much that he stares into space for 20 seconds -- enough time for Catwoman to get away.

- Then Captain Birdseye turns up for no reason whatsoever and mixes up all the UN dust. Batman sifts through it and rehydrates them. He has accidentally swapped their bodies, but nobody notices -- they just carry on arguing. Batman says that his mess up might actually make the world better. HOW!? Admit that you screwed up, dude.