This is the *best* bad movie I have ever seen. All the fight scenes were great because they were choreographed by Jackie Chan, but the acting, dialogue, and plot were terrible. This led to a thoroughly good time, because the parts that were good (the fights) were really good, and the parts that were bad (everything else) were really bad. Except for the fact that a few fights went on a little too long, I was never bored during this movie. Some of the better "bad" moments include:

- It is a Chinese film, and all of the characters are Chinese, but the voices that dubbed over them all had either London Cockney accents or Western drawls. This produced a hilarious effect. One of the Kung Fu masters sounded like Yosemite Sam.

- The editing was also terrible, and there was at least one scene where the character's eyes were cut off at the top of the screen.

- The pan-n-scan job was terrible. In a scene where two Kung Fu opponents are yelling at each other across the field where the fight is to take place, the camera is focused directly in between them, so that all we see is a field. Then the camera pans toward the "good guy," and I thought they'd fixed the problem, because there's actually some humans in the scene. But no, they pan *back* to the middle of the field!

- When a monk lectures his runaway student, they put the whole thing in fast forward (including sound). This is the funniest piece of film work I have ever seen.

- The same monk has the best eyes. I seriously think he was cast just for his eyes. At one point, when he's praying, he rolls them back into his head. He frequently goes cross-eyed to convey emotions.

- When the main character gets in a fight in the middle of the street and the fight causes some merchants' wares to be destroyed (mostly smashed pottery), a police officer (or someone else with some sort of authority) comes over to break it up and asks them to be nice and stop the fight because the poor merchants have lost enough wares as it is. Then they decide to fight outside of town, and the police officer (or whatever) inexplicably becomes the referee. Nothing is mentioned of repaying the poor merchants: it's all just a "be nice and stop smashing their stuff" thing.

- The sound effects of the fighting are exceptional. They start out kind of funny and get better from there. At the beginning, the fighting sounds like people hitting a board. The sounds do not often accompany an actual hit: the visuals and the soundtrack operate independently of each other. A chain, at one point, makes a whip-slicing-through-the-air sound, even when the fighter is holding the chain with both hands and barely moving it. The pinnacle of greatness in sound effects editing comes with the so-special-nobody-else-knows-how-to-do-it move, which involves windmilling one's arms around one's opponent and hitting him in the gut. Apparently this move comes from outer space, because it's accompanied by a definite space kind of sound, and the punch in the gut is a "boioioing" drum sound that makes one think of circus clowns.

- An old Kung Fu master with white Side-Show-Bob hair (which keeps flying in his face), fights the hero, and it's almost an even fight with the abominable snowman (white SSB hair) nearly winning, when one of the hero's teachers joins the fight to help, so that it's two (hero and teacher) against one (abominable snowman). Even though the one on one match was close to even, with the abominable snowman just a little bit better, when the hero's teacher (presumably better than the hero) joins, it's still pretty close to even. The abominable snowman even looks like he's going to win against them a few times. Maybe it's because the hero and teacher decided to fight him one at a time (nice of them). They finally beat him when the master yells at them to fight him together (duh, I thought that was the point of having two fighters?!?). Then we are treated to more sound editing folly as the sound indicates a barrage of kicks and the video indicates at the most four.

Rating: 5 turkeys.