The movie opens in a karate class. Well, sort of. A skinny, rather homely blonde woman is leading the unenthusiastic class in some lackluster exercises, while shouting "Hah!" (Take note of the class members. They show up again as extras later in the movie.)

The only thing that I can imagine is that the director got into a fight with his girlfriend and to mollify her he gave her the lead role in this. She is homely, skinny, has no acting talent, apparently reads her cues off cards (she frequently talks past whoever she is on stage with), is constantly watching someone off-camera, and her athletic ability equals her martial arts ability, which is essentially nil. She must be seen to be believed.

Continuity errors normally just amuse me, but logic errors annoy the heck out of me, and there are plenty here. The first is when one of HG's students walks out of class because there isn't enough fighting. She says to the student, "You know my stand against violence. This is not about fighting. We are learning an art form, martial arts." He then challenges her to a fight in an alley, and she accepts.

We find out that she's a cop when she accidentally shoots some guy during the fight, turns in her badge, and says, "I'll never touch another gun." Then she goes home to some unidentified midwestern town where she goes into a bar full of bad guys looking for her dad. She gets into a fight and beats them all up. Unlike any redneck fight I've ever witnessed, they conveniently only attack one at a time. You can even watch the cannon fodder waiting in the background for their turn to get beat up. In the end some Indian fellow helps her out a little. For unknown reasons, he has a metal spike on what is supposed to be a stump but is VERY obviously just black leather wrapped around his hand. Watch for his hand. It appears several times in the movie.

Of course, it turns out that Dear Old Dad is the good-old-boy sheriff, and some bad guys have moved into town and taken over the courts and almost everything else. DOD has Good Deputy (GD) and Bad Deputy (BD) working for him. They are easily distinguished, since GD has a good complexion, while BD has a bad case of acne scars.

DOD confronts the bad guys, who try to kill him. The judge releases the bad guys, and DOD and GD have a conference where they decide to call in the FBI. BD has bugged the office and tells the Big Bad Guy (BBG). DOD gets killed by a car bomb in front of Homely Girl, of course. GD decides to drive over and check out the action, and his car blows up too, of course.

HG has met up with her high school sweetie, who just got out of the Special Forces. Never mind that he looks 20 years older than her and is a flabby 25 pounds overweight. HG and Sweetie decide she should run for sheriff for some reason. At this point I went to walk the dog for a while, but the movie must have dragged quite a bit because when I came back they were just getting ready for the election.

Sweetie is a high school teacher now (apparently Special Forces training prepares you for your teaching certificate), so he decides to put his students in harm's way by having them monitor the polling stations.

Now comes the most pathetic fight scene that I have ever witnessed. Part of it is in a weight room for some reason, and one particular shot stands out in my mind as being truly stupid. Sweetie gets thrown down on a weight bench. He lies there long enough so that two bad guys can pick up a bar with what looks like a couple hundred pounds of weights on it and place it gently above his neck. To emphasize that our flabby hero has never lifted weights in his life, he puts his two hands next to each other in the middle of the bar, where he has no control over it, and manfully pushes it back up against their attempts. Now he kicks the two bad guys, delivering glancing blows in the back that wouldn't knock over a kindergartener, and we see him actually struggle to put the bar back on the stand.

Indian Guy has come and gone a few times and has shown that he actually has some athletic ability and perhaps a little acting talent as well. His dialogue sucks so badly, however, that it's hard to be sure. He provokes the final showdown with the Big Bad Guy.

Here's the stupid ending. A girl was shown a few times tied to a bed with some bruises in the BBG's bedroom. She's been tied to the bed throughout the movie, which encompasses enough time to run an entire election campaign, but the bruises never heal nor are new ones produced. In the last scene, when BBG is being led away in handcuffs, she appears at a window. She's not only released herself from her bondage, but clothed and armed herself with an M16 and trained herself to shoot BBG from about 200 yards away.

"China O'Brian 2" was on next, but I decided that enough was enough. No need to provoke nightmares of bad actors reading cue cards at me while karate-chopping each other.

Rating: two turkeys.

Scene to watch for: Pitiful fight in the weight room.

Best line: "She's one of those chop-suey fighters!"

Things that make you go "Huh?": Too much to list.