Ostensibly this is a killer tomatoes interpretation of Dumas' "The Man In the Iron Mask" (or perhaps Wheatley's update), with slight diversions that embrace everything from the Three Musketeers to the Hunchback of Notre Dame. There's enough French culture in one sitting to make you positively ill. It appears the tomatoes are "ripe for revolution" (tee hee) but ironically must restore the French Monarchy as written in the forbidden knowledge tome "The Prophecies Of Nicodemus." Romantic lead (!) Marc Price spends most of the film pretending to be Michael J. Fox, and John Astin (as Professor Gangreen) tries for a comic book villain and fails miserably. There is a nice selection of digs at political correctness (didn't the French lead to the adoption of these principles in the first place?) and a pre-"eXistenZ" Disgusting Meal Sequence. The Tomato FX have improved considerably as the series progressed, but they're still appalling. The highlight is the "We are the World" satire, featuring an "easy listening" Tomato ("Fuzzy Tomato") being kidnapped by Gangreen's minions who then proceed to perform a Rap-Metal Old-Skool Beastie Boys parody. There is also get the endless steps sequence that must have inspired Final Fantasy VII, the cheapest Star Wars trash-compactor reference EVER (look out for the board-games that fall on Price -- funny stuff), and a Ben-Hur chariot race rip-off. Somewhat less tedious than the first "cult" movie, "Killer Tomatoes Eat France" will lose friends faster than an admission that you love "Xanadu." Believe me, inflict this on ANYONE, and they'll hate you forever. It's that good.

Rating: two turkeys.