I kind of like to focus on newer *BAD* movies -- the thrill of discovery and all that. It can be limiting, though. Let's face it, even the most awful pieces of dreck made nowadays are usually too polished and technically proficient to provide the laughs and all-around enjoyment of a "Plan 9 From Outer Space" or "Sinbad of the Seven Seas." Modern bad movies are usually just boring and/or tiresome. They suffer, in short, from a lack of imagination and risk-taking -- which is what powers both great movies and classic BAD movies.

This past year has been awful for movies, but we've received a surprising resurgence of movies that aren't afraid to make horrendously bad choices and thereby become entertaining. One of them, "Battlefield Earth," is already a classic.

There was another SF film this year, though that was just as bad, yet got overlooked, partly because the studio and even the director seemed to realize just what an incompetent howler they'd created. They dumped it in January with little marketing. (Unlike "Battlefield Earth," which was trumpeted as a summer blockbuster.)

The movie, of course, is "Supernova." Or possibly "Super Nova."

This movie has a great cast, I'll give it that. James Spader, Angela Bassett, Robert Forster, Robin Tunney, Lou Diamond-Phillips, and some other guy. Unfortunately, they all make fools of themselves, except maybe Forster, who's lucky enough to die in the first ten minutes. For no reason. Ok, let me back up.

There's this hospital ship, see, called Nightingale 9. The captain (that's Forster) is doing a university thesis on cartoons. Spader (the hero) is a former addict of some future-drug trying to go straight. Bassett is the only one who seems to have any actual medical knowledge, and she hates Spader. The computer's name is "Sweetie," and she makes vaguely flirting comments to one of the tech guys. There's a remote-controlled android with a limp, dressed as a WWI flying ace. Words cannot do justice to this latter. Remember Woody Allen as an android in "Sleeper"? That's kind of what he looks like. Seriously, they just stuck a flying suit and a mask on some guy -- they don't even TRY to make him look believable as a robot.

They get a distress call, from someone who Bassett seems to know. So they hop into the Insanely Dangerous Pods (tm) to go check it out. The IDPs (tm) deserve a paragraph. They are obviously meant to call to mind the cryopods in "Alien." Apparently you need to go into them (naked, of course) to survive FTL transit, except even then there's a huge risk of horrible death, as we'll see in a short while. But no one seems to mind, and this technology is regularly in use. Ho hum.

They jump to hyperspeed or whatever, and here the editing genius of this film comes into play. We see FLASH-FORWARD scenes in a montage, of what's about to happen for the next two hours. You have to witness this for yourself. It's like Oliver Stone meets Ed Wood. The bizarre editing choices of this film will continue to make themselves apparent. (For instance, I don't believe the film's title even appears on screen until the end. This is what I'm talking about -- imagination, gutsiness, coupled with a complete lack of judgment. How refreshing.)

They get there and everything goes horribly wrong. Forster has been turned into a melted flesh pile by the IDP (tm) and begs them to kill him. Hmmm, does that remind you of any other popular SF movie? Furthermore, the ship is spinning out of control and entering the atmosphere of the nearby planet. I want to stress that all this didn't come about from some damage or extenuating circumstances -- this kind of thing apparently happens EVERY TIME you go to hyperspeed. Hurrah for technology!

They kill Forster and get into an orbit -- but it's deteriorating, and they only have something like two hours to get their job done before the ship will crash.

So of course, James Spader does the logical thing when you're in a ship with a slowly deteriorating orbit with a limited amount of time to get your rescue accomplished -- he meets up with the woman who's been bickering with him the whole time he's been on board and does interesting things with her in zero-g.

"How do they get the pear into the bottle?" Admit it, girls -- you just swooned in delight. That line just made you fall into the arms of whichever guy happened to be nearby. Well, it works if you're Angela Bassett, and James Spader is saying it to you.

You know how a lot of reviews here talk about how "random stuff happens"? That's the epitome of the next twenty minutes or so of the movie. They bring on the guy they were trying to help. He has a Shiny Glowy Thing (tm) with him. He's the son of someone Bassett hates. Except, no, he's actually the guy himself, who's been de-aged by the SGT. The SGT is magic and evil, and the miners found it at the bottom of the mine they were mining. Somehow, Evil Guy (he is evil, of course) manages to explain away all the other miners' deaths.

At this point, there was some nonsense about retrieval worries -- beacuse there weren't enough pods to get everybody home. This is so stupid that I actually laughed. This is a giant, space-going medical center, and they don't have the ability to transport more than a few people? What happens if there's a major catastrophe, and they have to leave the area with thousands of people? Send several thousand of these ships, I guess.

Lou Diamond-Phillips gets addicted to sticking his hand in the SGT. He starts to get really strong and stuff. Spader decides to go down to the abandoned mine. Bassett -- the only one in this movie who has anything resembling brains -- runs checks on the SGT and determines that it's a super-bomb left by nasty aliens who want to be alone in the galaxy. A sentient race comes along and takes it home, it makes their sun go nova, and blam, no more human pests. Ok, logical enough, and indeed that (and one speech later by Evil Guy) are the only inklings that this might once have been an intelligent movie, a dozen drafts and a chimpanzee edit job ago. Unfortunately, NOTHING that happens for the rest of the movie relates to Bassett's theory in any way or makes any sense at all. The SGTs properties are basically whatever the writers need them to be at any given moment.

So now everyone splits up to different areas of the ship to do nothing. Literally. At this point we're wondering if the stuff about the ship being about to crash is a dream we had once. Evil Guy swings into action, trying to kill Spader by remote control. He fails. Then he kills his rival for the SGT, Lou Diamond-Phillips, by shooting him out an airlock. Then he kills Robin Tunney by shooting her out an airlock. Then he kills that other guy by shooting him out an airlock. See a pattern here? And the hell of it is, THIS TAKES 40 DAMN MINUTES! It's the most repetitive, silly thing you've ever seen. Somehow it manages to become funny, like the banana peel gag. No one ever goes to check up on Evil Guy or their crewmates. They just sit back comfortably and let him get on with his murdering in peace.

Spader gets back to the ship. He fights Evil Guy. Bassett uses the WWI robot to deliver a bomb, along with the SGT, to Evil Guy. That's right, she sets off explosives right next to the insanely powerful bomb that can take out a star, ON BOARD HER OWN SHIP. She also gives him the finger just before the explosion. Love it.

Instead of causing the ship to explode, the SGT spirals out through space toward the nearby star. It apparently only takes a minute or two to get there. I was debating whether Spader and Bassett would decide to fool around some more, maybe make coffee and chat and watch the show. But apparently the threat of the sun going nova is enough to FINALLY make them leave this insanely dangerous situation. So they clamber together into the one remaining IDP (can't remember how the others got damaged -- or even if they bothered to explain it), jump to hyperspeed, and are gone ahead of the...Super Nova! Da Dum!

The real topper is the end, though. Spader and Bassett get out of their pod. They're not melted. But...Spader has one brown eye, and Bassett has one blue eye! Sweetie helpfully chimes in, "2% transfer of genetic material." So they can gauge exactly what went wrong; they just can't prevent it. Hurrah for technology!

Sweetie continues her final thought, which gets funnier and funnier -- "the star has gone nova, but the effects of the blast will someday reach Earth. It may destroy us. Or, it may force us to evolve into something wonderful." I was doubled over at that point. It's like saying, "I'm going to drop a nuclear bomb on you. It may destroy you, or it may cause you to evolve into something wonderful." But, uh, at a guess, it's not likely, is it? Oh, Sweetie. You crack me up.

Rating: four turkeys. The Michael Bay-style editing may turn off some people.

Scene to watch for: The robot gives the finger.

Best line: Toss up between the pear brandy dialogue and Sweetie's final pronouncement.

Things that make you go "Huh?": With two hours before they crash, they have sex?