Don't get me wrong -- I loved the 70s classic "Blues Brothers," but after 20 years, obviously, either: (1) the writers have Alzheimer's, or (2) the writers died and hired Pauly Shore. This is an incredibly stupid movie.

The first scene shows you that something happened. Elwood Blues is getting out of jail after, obviously, years and years. He walks outside and waits. And waits. And waits. You see a day passing before FINALLY someone notices him. "Sir, he's still out there," says the security camera operator. Another man, obviously the boss, says, "Hasn't anyone told him?" Don't you think anyone with half a brain can figure out that if your ride is over a day late, you should try calling him or walking? Then some guy comes up and whispers and then says, "I'm sorry."

Then, after about 20 minutes of getting his life back together, he stops back at the church he almost lived at and offers to mentor a child. He takes this kid for a ride and decides for one reason or another, "I'm gonna put the band back together." He takes the kid with him, and the nuns at the church suspect him of kidnapping.

So he hunts down all his former bandmates. One owns a car dealership with his wonderful wife, Aretha Franklin. Enter: the same scene from "Blues Brothers." Aretha Franklin sings she wants some R-E-S-P-E-C-T from her husband and lets him go. Some other guy works at a phone sex company and sings his theme song. At a strip club being watched by the mafia, Elwood gets his drummer. And a new guy. The bartender (John Goodman) helps with the capture of mafias and gets to sing as part of the bargain. Elwood likes John Goodman's singing, and hires him. You get the idea.

Then he goes to his cousin, says he either wants some cash or for him to join the band. He says no and no. Mind you, he's a cop, so he checks up on the criminal records of him and his brother. Elwood is a steady Boop..Boop..Boop as his records pop up. Jake is a BoopBoopBoopBoopBoop. So wouldn't Jake be in prison longer than Elwood? And wouldn't Elwood know if Jake died in prison? So Elwood then steals his cousin's wallet and leaves the wallet in the lost and found of the station with a note saying who he is. If your cousin hates your guts and you steal his wallet, YOU DON'T TELL HIM! So Cousin orders a manhunt for Elwood throughout the state.

The band goes to a few gigs. At a state fair in Kentucky, they enter through a flaming car, because it's a...uh...flaming car show. They perform, the cops see them, they run. They see a cop-infested bridge. They go under it. Underwater. In a 20 year old cop car. They make a pit stop at a diner. The cops come. Goodman, Elwood, and little boy devise a plan. Elwood covers his face in shaving cream, Goodman and Little Boy run out screaming, and Elwood runs after them. They run.

Finally, at a church sermon that they go to to get money from the pastor, a close personal friend of Elwood's who just happens to be James Brown, and a big dance scene breaks out. This is, what, the eighth dance scene in the movie? Cousin and the cops walk in, but this time Elwood doesn't run. Then James Brown starts yelling something like, "Repent! Repent!" at Cousin, and everytime he yells it, Cousin goes tripping backwards. Then Cousin starts magically flying upward and is transformed into a Blues Brother. He then joins Elwood for NO REASON WHATSOEVER.

So they get to this battle of the bands contest that he's been going to in New Orleans and goes over to audition. The Jamaican Queen Lady (Erykah Badu) wants them to play reggae. Elwood says, "We play rock, pop, blues, country, (about 40 other kinds of music), and occasionally some rap, but for one thing, we do NOT PLAY REGG--" and she casts a spell, and they play reggae. Then, once again, something happens for NO REASON WHATSOEVER. She turns Elwood and John Goodman and Cousin into zombies. Why?

So the band is waiting to perform. The other band plays. This consists of Eric Clapton, BB King, Travis Tritt, and other esteemed musicians. The Blues Brothers play. Erykah Badu turns the three back into normal just in time. Then it's voting time. BB King & Co wins! Then the Russians and the military rush in, both try to kill Elwood, but Erykah turns them into rats. Then the cops rush in, Cousin says, "I'm ok," and, magically, everything's ok. The cops stop chasing him, the two bands jam, and it's all over.

Celebrity Cameos: Erykah Badu, Aretha Franklin, BB King, Eric Clapton, Travis Tritt, James Brown, and about 40 others.

How you know it's a "Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad Movie": It has "2000" in the title, and Jake is dead.

Response From RinkWorks:

Why anyone ever thought it was a good idea to replace John Belushi with freakin' John Goodman is beyond me. I mean, I like John Goodman. He's funny. He can even sing the blues fairly well. But you just can't replace John Belushi. With anyone. Ever.