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It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad Movie

Reader Review


Dark Star

Posted by: Zimm
Date Submitted: Monday, October 2, 2000 at 05:56:31
Date Posted: Thursday, November 2, 2000 at 08:14:47

Since "2001: A Space Odyssey" is one of my all-time favorite films, I enjoyed this mild spoof. It's a bad movie, but a good one!

The opening shot introduces us to the main characters, the plot (a term used loosely here), and one of the smallest spaceship cockpits I have ever seen. I mean, this movie is supposed to take place in the future when interstellar space travel is commonplace, and yet the cockpit is no bigger than the ones used in the Apollo space missions! We learn that the mission for this particular crew is to fly around and blow up things with "smart bombs." The appropriately named smart-bombs are infused with advanced artificial intelligence. Why you'd go to the trouble to put AI that is capable of communicating in understandable English in a bomb is beyond me.

Well, we soon learn that one of the three crew members is disgruntled because his crew mates don't take him seriously enough. We learn this while he uses his video diary thingy that is programmed to remove all inappropriate language and gestures. This is one of the genuinely funny moments in the film, one that was meant to be funny and is not just camp. We see several selections from his diary that include a dirty joke where 90% of the content including one gesture is censored, along with a huge rant against one of his crewmates and finally ending with him talking about how the crew doesn't respect him.

Then there's the hilarious scene where our "hero" is told to go feed the "alien." The alien is little more than a large inflatable ball with hair and feet. When the hero finally attempts to subdue the alien with a tranquilizer dart, I was in stitches as the alien flew about the cabin making that sputtering sound that balloons make when you let them fly about in a similar fashion.

There was another great scene where our hero gets stuck in an elevator, his legs dangling through the floor, and as he tries to free himself he hits a wrong button on the control panel and causes opera music to play throughout the ship. Why this was funny to me, I have no idea, but I was almost in tears seeing his legs dangling from underneath the elevator while boisterous opera music blared throughout the ship.

The movie ended when one of the bombs, for whatever reason, refused to carry out its mission. One of the crew finally convinced it that it was a deity, so the bomb set about to create life. Well, when the bomb says, "Let there be light!" you can imagine what happens. Unfortunately for our valiant crew, the bomb is still near the ship, and it puts an end to everybody, except for one guy who is left floating in a space suit. He got flung off into space at one point and lets out a little, "Woo-hoo!" as he passes the cockpit window. Again, I was in stitches.

This is a bad movie. It is a bad, bad, bad, bad movie. In fact it is as low budget as they come and has some horrible acting, cheese-ball special effects, and some of the worst interior sets I've ever seen. Your mileage may vary.

Rating: 4 turkeys.

Scene to watch for: The alien getting hit by the tranquilizer dart.

Best line: "I saw Jim today, and I said ----- and then ----- and he didn't get it!"

Things that make you go "Huh?": The ship is large enough to contain an enormous elevator shaft, and yet the cockpit is restricted to minuscule proportions.


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