Apparently, no one besides me has ever seen this movie before, or there would definitely be a review posted on it. This is the worst movie I have ever seen that wasn't TRYING to be horrible. It's been a few years, so the details are a little hazy, but this is what I remember:

It starts out with a bunch of people being trapped in a maze-like giant cube with numerous levels and rooms per level. Right at the beginning, all the people wandering around inside run into each other. There is some speculation as to whether other people are trapped inside as well, but, either way, I find it pretty amazing that the six people would all meet up at approximately the same time and then never see anyone else for the duration of the movie.

One of the people inside helped design the cube, and it appears that it was built for some highly specialized government testing that involves the torture and death of innocent people. Unfortunately, the film never bothers to develop this any further, so we never do figure out the actual purpose of the thing.

So how did they all end up in this cube, anyway? Well, apparently, everyone just went to sleep one night and woke up here. I'm sorry, but it seems kind of far-fetched that anyone could break into a person's home, keep them from waking up, and then take them to a gigantic cube out in the middle of nowhere without anyone noticing anything. Oh, yeah, that's another thing. Where could the government put this montrous cube without anyone seeing it and wondering what it is?

Well, anyway, on to the plot. Of course, we learn early on that many of the rooms are booby-trapped. This is what attracted me to the movie in the first place, and, indeed, the traps are the coolest part of the whole film. In fact, they're the only cool part of the film.

The first person to die is an ex-con escape artist who is an expert at getting past traps. Amazingly, no one else in the entire movie is ever killed by a trap.

I might as well say who the other characters are, now. There's the designer, a big bad cop, a smart high school student, a clueless retard, and some other woman. They wander around through the cube for a while, dodging traps and such. Then the producers realize that this is getting boring, so they decide to make the cop go psycho. This, of course, makes no sense. He hasn't been in the cube for even a day, and he's already gone bonkers. He must have been unstable to begin with, and I didn't think they let people like that onto the police force.

The group finally reaches an edge of the cube, but it's too far up to escape from. For no good reason, they decide to dangle the woman down the side to see if she can spot anything. Naturally, she can't, and then the cop decides to release his grip on her, sending her plummeting to her death. Oh, yes, and the rest of the group doesn't suspect that he's crazy yet.

Now why don't they just keep going down through the floors until they reach the bottom, since there are doors in each side of each room? Well, at some point, they discovered that there were numbers on the entrances to every room, and somehow, the student, who turned out to be a genius at math, realized that if all the factors of the number were prime, then that room was booby-trapped, and they shouldn't go in there. How she stumbled upon this fact, I'll never know. I even think the rules dictating which rooms were trapped change at some point in the film, which makes even less sense.

Well, it is around this time that everyone lies down to take a nap, and the cop tries to sneak off with the student, because he doesn't like people but needs her to escape from the cube. Then, he tries to rape her. I guess he thinks that there are no rules now that he's away from any authority. Anyway, the designer wakes up and gets in a fight with the cop, somehow wounding him and leaving him for dead.

Now they reach a bunch of numbers that are too complicated for the student to calculate with, so everyone starts to despair. Then it is discovered that the retard is Rain Man, and he can help them know which rooms are safe. Whatever.

Well, eventually the producers get tired of this, and they have the characters realize that the rooms in the cube are all moving around, so everyone is actually walking in circles. Then, through some insanely complicated calculations that no human would be able to do entirely in their head, the student figures out which room they should be in that will eventually move to the exit.

However, as soon as they reach said exit, the cop finds them again in another amazing coincidence. He kills the student and then goes after the retard, but the designer holds him back in an entryway. When the room moves again, the cop is crushed, and the designer is wounded but still alive. However, based on the extraordinarily lengthy amount of time the group somehow figured it would take for the room he's in to move back to the exit, he is bound to die of blood loss or whatever before he can escape. That's right, the retard is the only one to make it out alive! That'll give the government something to think about!

Rating: five turkeys.

Scene to watch for: The cop narrowly escaping a booby-trap that is triggered by sound.

Best line: "Honk!" (sound the retard makes throughout the movie, once triggering the booby-trap that the cop narrowly escapes from)

Things that make you go "Huh?": Why the cube was built in the first place.