Not only did I view this film on MST3K, I actually RENTED it at my friendly neighborhood Blockbuster. Believe me, it does not disappoint. This is one of those rare bad films that fails in everything it does. The premise is fairly interesting -- a Navajo twist on the werewolf legend. However, the film does nothing with this that is original. It basically follows the same plot every bad monster film does. Except it's especially bad -- and funny.

The film begins with a group of archeologists in the desert. (At least that's what I think they are.) Apparently, Yuri (a guy who I'll discuss in detail later) is annoyed because one of the workers, Tommy, is taking a break. A brief, lame fight ensues and ends with the discovery of a werewolf skeleton. Ignoring their hurt co-worker, they dig out the body (which is only about four feet tall). Tommy has cut his leg on the skull during the fight. Remember this; it becomes important later. One of the diggers, Joe (who is listed as "Joel" in the credits) recognizes it for what it is (which no one else seems to notice). He is given the day off. Why? It's not like he'll ruin the dig if he mentions they found a werewolf. Won't that make them famous for a new discovery? Why do they bother to hide it?

For whatever reason, it's taken back to the museum where the guy in charge, Noel, has an office. He gives a brief explanation of the Navajo werewolf legend. One of the archeologists, Natalie, is skeptical; she says: "I'm not superstitious."

Ok, let's pause for a bit. We'll start with Natalie as the first sign we are seeing a turkey. She is a foreigner from some unknown country that churns out leggy, dim blondes. Her accent mangles most of the lines she says. To add to this, she has the worst grasp of the English language that I've EVER seen an actor possess. It's very hard to listen to her without giggling. Then there's Yuri. Despite the fact that Tommy was pretty badly hurt, he expresses no concern. In fact, he doesn't express much of anything. Also, when they hear a howl, he says, "It's probably a car on the highway." Sure. This is also one of the stupidest bits of foreshadowing I've seen in a film, ever. It's called "Werewolf." There's got to be a werewolf somewhere.

Back to the film. Remember how Tommy got cut? Apparently, getting cut by a werewolf skull makes you become one. Oh, and forget the fact Noel himself said the change was gradual. Tommy goes in a matter of days. Before he changes, for some unknown reason Yuri knows what will happen. He puts on a white coat and pretends to be a doctor. He's never asked for ID, or even looked at twice. Sheesh, if it was that easy they wouldn't bother with visiting hours. He tells a secretary, "Nice hair," and sneaks into Tommy's room, checks him out, takes some of his blood, and leaves. How he got the needle I'm not even going to ask.

Anyway, Tommy is now a werewolf. (We view a very long shot of the hospital with the full moon in the background, get it?) He tears down the corridor, hairless back visible, and is wearing a pair of jeans. He attacks some guy and heads home. Fortunately, Joe and some other guy are waiting for him to show up. This scene was clearly filmed in the middle of the day, with a blue filter on the camera. The budget for this film was lower than what I spent on dinner last night. They shoot him when he shows up, and that's it for Werewolf #1.

Ok, break time again. The werewolf does not resemble a wolf, or even a wolf man. It looks like some kind of gorilla suit, with a bat mask on the face. Tommy looks more like a hungry bear than a rampaging werewolf. The same shots used with him are used on the next two werewolves (yup, there's more).

Back to the film. There is a sudden cut to a train station. We see a man enter a cab. He converses with the cab driver for more pointless foreshadowing. This guy's name is Paul. He is supposedly a writer. He never actually writes anything in the film. He's got some house he's moving into but only spends time in the attic. Living there already is some frazzled old guy who wears army fatigues and has a HUGE frizzy beard. You could scrub pans with it. Paul gets invited to a party by the realtor, whom he has met in the attic. For some reason, she refuses to give him a ride back.

We now meet (tah-dah) Natalie again! Yuri is apparently drunk and hitting on her. Paul intervenes, and a fight nearly breaks out. Yuri is accosted by Noel, who tells him to "take a walk." Yuri goes to Noel's office for some reason and decides to change a security guard into a werewolf by using Tommy's blood. Was he just carrying it around waiting for the right moment to use it? Wouldn't it have congealed by now? Anyway, he convinces the guard to have a drink, which he drugged, so the guy passes out.

Back to the party, where Natalie and Paul are getting acquainted. Natalie drives him back to the house, where Sam (frazzled bearded guy) interrupts a brief makeout moment. They've known each other for about an hour, let me remind you.

Ok, back to Yuri and the werewolf. The change is even quicker this time around. By the time the guard reaches his car, he already looks kind of hairy. Shot of full moon here. Yuri proceeds to follow him. The next scene is possibly the funniest chase ever. They circle a gas station for a while until some barrels appear out of nowhere, and the guard crashes. The werewolves in this film have a hard time staying alive.

Ok, that's two down. Who will be our next werewolf? If you said Paul, you're right. After long, slow, pointless shots of skeletons, Natalie shows him the werewolf. Why? They went through all this trouble to keep it a secret, and she shows it to some random guy she just met? Huh? Yuri shows up with a new hairdo (his fourth so far). Yuri gets mad. After all, the werewolf was supposed to be a secret. For some reason he goes ballistic and punches out Paul, who lands on the werewolf skull. Paul flees and goes home to mend his wounds. Paul becomes a werewolf. Slowly. He looks like a man with a toothache. All he does is grunt some and get down on all fours. The camera rolls back several times and races back in on him. Why, I have no idea. We cut to the outside (dark, full moon) many times. The sun is barely setting when we see Paul indoors. Ok.

Natalie comes back, and in one of the most abrupt cut scenes ever we cut to two kids in a car. Paul shows up -- why and how are unknown -- and for whatever reason he attempts to kill them both. Whether he succeeds or not is unknown, but seeing the girl struggle through a mud puddle an inch deep is priceless. Paul goes back home and mauls the realtor, who does not get killed. He's a fairly ineffective werewolf, but he's one upped the other two.

Meanwhile, Natalie is finally getting suspicious about the werewolf thing. She asks Noel what's going on. He says that in time she'll know. Then she gives up and goes on a date with Paul. They play billiards. During this scene, we are treated to a long pan of a mural. Why, I have no idea. Yuri shows up with gray hair (this guy is everywhere) and challenges Natalie. Paul sits in the corner and quietly lycanthropizes until he has the good sense to retreat to the bathroom. In there he meets Yuri, who recognizes his werewolfness and immediately calls Noel. The two decide to capture Paul and finally announce their find. Couldn't they have just shown off the skeleton earlier? Paul proceeds to run home, attacking the occasional citizen. It must be noted here that anyone seems to be able to fend him off. Natalie wants to know where Paul went and in turn finds out about Yuri and Noel's dastardly scheme. She gets to Paul's house first and tries to convince him to run off. Her attempts at dramatic acting are worse than the rest of the movie. Paul jumps out the window just as Yuri shows up. Yuri pursues (mind you, without a gun, knife, or even a net) and is killed by Paul in a graffiti filled underpass. Natalie shows up just as Yuri dies. We get a shot of her looking the same way she always does. Suddenly we cut to her feet. She paces around Paul's attic waiting for him to come back. He does, and we learn (surprise) that she's a werewolf too, and the film ends.

This film is not doing anything different. Despite its "original" angle, it succeeds in only being stupid. For example, Noel mentions in the beginning how the Navajo deal with a potential case by calling in a medicine man. Why didn't he just do this for Tommy and exhibit the skeleton? Oh, and there's no way that skeleton is a person unless it's a midget. Can you say "plaster"? The period of onset is different for every werewolf. The film's music is the same slow trill for each case of lycanthropy. Natalie's supposedly an educated woman -- how come she doesn't know what a lycanthrope is? Why is her English so horrible? As you can see, I could go on forever about this movie.

Rating: 4.5 turkeys. There are a few slow bits.

Scene to watch for: The guard loses control of his car.

Best line: "Well, maybe then it's too late."

Things that make you go "Huh?": Yuri's ever-changing hair.