Probably best known for "Altered States," Ken Russell had a massive hit with his film of "Tommy," the rock opera by The Who. When that went through the box office roof, I suspect studio people wanted his next movie no matter what.

How else to explain "Lisztomania"? I mean, no one in his right mind, being pitched this script, would have fallen over themselves to make the film unless big bucks were guaranteed.

The plot? What? Um, not sure there is one. But where else can you see The Who's Roger Daltrey (Liszt) playing "Chop Sticks" before a crowd of screaming teenage girls? Or swordfighting in his underwear while goofy, sort of country/western music plays? Or how about Richard Wagner in a sailor suit, with the name "Nietzche" sewn into the brow? How about how he (Wagner) later turns into a vampire and then becomes Frankenstein's Monster with an electric guitar that shoots bullets? Then there's erstwhile Yes keyboardist Rick Wakeman as The Mighty Thor ("'e looks like someone out of a comic!"). To top all that, we have Ringo Starr, as the Pope!

This film is critic proof, folks. I can imagine the slack jaws at press screenings. "What in the heck can we write about?"

But hey, folks, see it if you can! Learn some musical history, sort of! See the bad influence of dangerous drugs, I think! Rent something that, when it's over and you hit the rewind button, you will NOT be able to say, "Well, I've seen THAT before!"

All this film needs is Criswell staring into the camera at the beginning and saying, "Can your hearts stand the shocking facts about...Franz Liszt?"

Be warned, though, that it is not a family film.

Rating: 4 turkeys. Your mileage may vary.

Scenes to watch for: Gee, where to start? The piano on the train tracks! Liszt imagines happier times as a Chaplin movie! The flame-shooting piano weapon! Wagner pops out of the grave! The reunion in Heaven, and what they do about Wagner!

Things that make you go "Huh?": Liszt's daughter, also Wagner's wife, is with Franz in Heaven. When did she buy it? I must've blinked, darn it.